Enticing Offers

I have been super sick this week. It's not as bad as when I had Dengue fever but it is still no fun. Some people say Christians should never be sick and use the phrase, "We are healed by His stripes" to justify this belief. But they are misusing it. That phrase is refering to our sins being healed not our physical healing. I am definitely sick. I spent the last two days in bed and I have used two full boxes of Kleenex. I missed one day of work and had to reschedule a teaching job interview. Things are beginning to look up, though. Today I felt well enough to go to the interview and go back to work.

My teaching interview went pretty well but I am not sure if I want to teach at this particular school. The teachers and principal seem nice but the area is a bit shady. It didn't feel that shady until I found out that some woman almost got car jacked in the parking lot two days ago. They also had fliers with the faces of local registered sex offenders posted where the kids get picked up. I am glad they're aware, but it's kind of scary. I am still in the interview process at another school that I think may be a better/less likely to be assaulted fit. We'll see though. The next interview at that school is on Monday. I just want to know where I will be. I hate waiting.

Tonight I worked until 10pm at Soundwaves. It's been a long time since I worked at night at Soundwaves. It's always an amusing experience since we are located in Montrose- the weirdest and gayest part of Houston. I helped a big older black guy look for some cds. He told me, "I like your hair." To which I said, "Thanks, sometimes it turns into a 'fro." Then he said, "I think I'd like that too." Red flag. He kept refering to me by name, which he cleverly discovered on my nametag. He asked if I liked to go out. I told him that I am super busy, always working. He asked if I had any time to have fun. I told him no. He asked me if I was married and I told him, "Pretty much." (Does Jesus count?) Then he asked if I had any friends who liked to go out. (Maybe ones who also have frizzy hair, perhaps?) I told him that they are pretty much all married.

I read a book once by a lady who was clearly not a Christian, who went on dates with anyone who asked her for a year. She lived in New York City and ended up going on over 100 dates and slept with an alarming number of them. If I had been playing her game, I would have had to say yes to the random guy tonight. Thank goodness I wasn't. It's not that I didn't want to go out with him because he was black. Sometimes I actually prefer black people to white people and I would definitely go out with a suitable black guy. No, the reason I wasn't interested had more to do with the fact that he looked 40 and that he worked as a truck driver. So, I am not a racist but maybe an occupationist. Is that bad? I have recently determined that my kind of guy loves Jesus, is sporty, and is the kind of guy who would work at a summer camp, be a Younglife leader, serve with YWAM or be a teacher. Truck driver is simply not on the list.

Who needs emotions, right?

I recently realized that I have inadvertantly turned my emotions off. This is not something that I normally can do or try to do. I have several friends (mostly guys) who seem to be able to consistently turn their emotions on and off. One tried to tell me that this is a good and easier way to live. I don't agree. It seems to me that most people who practice this coping mechanism come to a point where the emotions have to come out whether the person wants to or not. Sometimes this can take years, but it will come out. And when emotions come out like that, it's usually very painful and hard-worse than if you let them out naturally.

I usually like to handle my emotions in my time and not stuff them away. That's why I am surprised that I have turned mine off. I have been thinking and praying about it and I guess I don't want to deal with the fears and stress that come with my little brother going back to Iraq in about a week. He is one of my favorite people and probably the person I love most in this world. I have loved and tried to protect him since the day he was born. I know he feels called to go back and I want to support him but in order to fully do that, I can't think about the reality of him going back to a place where people are actively trying to end his life. That's why I think my emotions are off. I think the solution is to spend a lot more time praying and talking with the Lord. For now, though the emotionlessness has had some benefits.

I haven't been nervous about things that I would normally be nervous about like job interviews. This comes in handy because confidence makes a good impression. I have a visit to a potential elementary school tomorrow. I really want this job but I feel no stress or worry. Those of you who pray, though, please pray that it all goes well.

This weekend I went to College Station for my friend, Lee's graduation from college. He's 31 and has been out of high school for thirteen years so it was a pretty big deal. His mom died four years ago and had really wanted him to finish college. If I wasn't such an emotionless droid, I know I would have cried when I saw that Lee had written on the top of his graduation cap, "I did it Mom!" Because it was such a big deal, most of our friends came from all over Texas, Lousiana and Mississippi. It was so fun to have everyone together again. We usually only get together as a group at weddings. It was nice to have more time to hang out. I also got to see Lee's family, who I really enjoy. His nephew Jonah is super friendly. He's four years old now and even though I hadn't seen him since he was a toddler, we were instantly friends. He asked me if I had a boyfriend. I told him no. Then he asked if that was because my mom wouldn't let me. I told him no and asked who he thought should be my boyfriend. To this, he smiled and pointed to himself. Unfortunately I think the age difference is just too much but it was a nice offer. I got to see my friends, Erin and Zach's baby, Joe. He looks like such a mix of both of them. I like it when that happens.

This week, my schedule is super weird. I have school visits on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings and then I work at night until after 10pm. Then I have a day off and then Friday night I work. It's very different than my usual 10-4 weekday schedule. I am glad for the day off, though. I am hoping to go to the beach finally (not the same as Maui, though) and spend some extra time with the Lord. I am glad for the break.

Old Friends and Job Fairs

Last night I got to hang out with some of my childhood friends, Leena and Neha Patel. We all grew up together on the same street and had an incredibly fun childhood. My parents have since moved but their parents still live on our old street- Quiet Spring or the "QS." My parents' new house has never fully felt like home. Being in the Patels' where I had spent so much of my childhood was like coming home. It felt so good. We had such a good time laughing, catching up and remembering our past adventures. We watched an incredible video of Neha's eighth birthday. I was ten, Andrew was eight and Jocelyn was eight. We were such funny little kids. Eleven year old Leena seranades her sister with a crude violin solo of "Happy Birthday." I eagerly keep asking when we will open the presents, Andrew shoves Jocelyn from behind and Jocelyn accidentally says her name is Jocelyn Hightower. Priceless memories! I am not a fan of the suburbs for my current stage of life but I think I may end up there when I have kids. It is just so fun to have all your friends living on the same street.

Today I raced home from work, got fancy and headed to a job fair. It was for student teachers but I can't attend the big city-wide one because of YoungLife camp. They let me in, thankfully. I had only been to one job fair before and I only went to have an excused absence from student teaching. I knew I wasn't going to be a teacher. This time was different. I actually wanted to get a job. It was a lot like one of those speed dating things I've seen on tv. You had to sell yourself in about five minutes and hope for the best. I talked to one principal, whose school I wouldn't want to work at. She seemed worn out and said that 100 out of 500 students from her school left last year to attend other schools. HISD lets students apply to go to other schools. Bad sign that 1/5 of the school left.

One school seemed really cool. The school is only two years old and no teachers have taught for more than six years. There are definitely some benefits to having older teachers around but I like the idea of working with people who are close to me in age and open to do things in new and creative ways. The school sent several teachers on the hiring committee as well as the principal. One of them was a super cute male fourth grade teacher. He seemed really nice and wasn't wearing a wedding ring. This is not the only reason I liked the school but it didn't hurt. We seemed to be on the same page with our educational ideas and he secured me a visit to the school. I go on Tuesday morning. I don't want to get my hopes up but it seems like a cool school. I am also going to visit another school on Tues and talked to a couple other principals about getting together later. It feels good to make progress. Please keep praying for my job.

The Weekend in a Nutshell

This weekend, I went on a little road trip. Big surprise, huh? I seem to be going on a lot of those. I gotta make the most of the mainland, right? I went to San Antonio to spend a final weekend with my brother before he goes to Iraq. He was about to go to Colorado for two weeks and then he leaves for Iraq around May 18th.

I had dinner with Andrew, Shella and Shella's parents. We ate at Cracker Barrel. I think this is one of the few restaurants that serves "American food." It is very fattening and very good. In the morning we had breakfast with the same crowd and then headed to Schiltterbahn. For those of you unfortunate souls who are unfamiliar with the place, it is the world's best waterpark as deemed by the travel channel. It is on the river and has tons of rides. We had a fun crowd: Andrew's old roommate, Eric, Andrew's friend- Veazey and his lady friend, our lifelong friend, Jocelyn and her husband as well as me and Shella. It was like four couples with me and Eric as a random one. Eric's a little too short and too engaged for me, unfortunately. We had a good time strutting around in our bathing suits and riding water slides.

Then we all had some good BBQ at Rudy's. I said good-bye to Andrew. It was the last time I will see him until he gets back from Iraq in January. It's super sad but I basically pretended it wasn't a big deal. At least I will get to talk to him a couple times before he deploys. I am sure I will have some form of emotional breakdown right after he leaves.

On Sunday, we had a Young Life car wash to raise money for camp. A lot of our kids come from lower income families and don't have enough money for camp so we provide opportunities for them to earn money. There were at least 20 kids there. This was a good sign since we often have no idea how many kids are planning to come until the day before.

I am super excited about camp. Before camp we are taking the kids white-water rafting. Most of our kids are black. And some stereotypes about black people prove true in real life. Most black people don't like to swim or get wet. There are practical reasons for this like for girls getting their hair wet will ruin their expensive weaves and many don't know how to swim. Therefore, the idea of them white-water rafting is simply hilarious! I can't wait!

Busy Busy

It's crazy to me how I have already filled up my weekly schedule and I've only been out of Hawaii for a little over a month. This week I have worked over 30 hours, went to the Astros game, went to YoungLife club and went to the gym multiple times. Yesterday was crazy as I had to be at work at 7am. It was a bit like death as I don't like to wake up in the sixes. Then I was at work until 6:30pm. I went home for literally five minutes before I headed across town to our last YoungLife club. Then I didn't get home from YoungLife until 11pm. I didn't know how I was going to make it towards the end of my shift at work but once I got to hang out with the Young Life kids, I didn't feel so worn out. I don't know how someone could just work retail without doing something to give back. It is hard to feel like you're making a difference when selling cds and surfboards.

Every YoungLife club gets better for me because I get to know the kids' names better. I wish I was one of those people who can just remember names immediately. I remember there was a YoungLife leader in high school named Elisa, who I barely knew. She remembered my name after one short meeting and remembered it years later. That meant a lot to me. I want to be like that.

It's too bad that this was the last club. We are having a car wash on Sunday to raise money for the kids to go to camp. Camp will be the best chance to get to know kids and it is stinkin' fun! Unfortunately it is at the same time as the gulf coast teacher job fair. I am anxious about getting a job and I know I could get one if I went. But I really feel called to YoungLife and I think I am supposed to go to camp. I have thought about doing YoungLife full-time but I also feel the Lord has called me to teaching. I wish He would just throw a job at me but that probably wouldn't teach me patience. I keep learning or not learning that lesson over and over and over again.

This weekend I was going to drive with my brother and his wife to Colorado but now they aren't leaving until Sunday and I have to work on Monday. Instead I am going to San Antonio to hang out with them. We are hoping to go to Schlitterbahn or Fiesta Texas, weather permitting. It should be good times and I will be able to go to church and the YoungLife car wash on Sunday. I am thinking of wearing a string bikini to the car wash to raise more money. We all have to make sacrifices for the Lord, right? Maybe that's not what He had in mind.

No More Church Shopping

I have been church shopping though not very fervently. (I had only visited one church before today.) The first church I went to seemed okay but the people seemed too dorky. That's probably not a good or politically correct way to judge a church. Anyway, today I visited my second church- City of Refuge. I went with a fellow Ywam alum named Dinah. It's a really cool church.

Most churches seem to be very segregated. White people go to church with other white people, Black people with other black people, Koreans with other Koreans, etc, etc. I definitely don't think this is how God intended things to be. I was thinking about how when I get married, I will invite friends from all different times in my life- childhood, college, camp, work, YWAM, etc. I would prefer to see my friends from different areas all mingling and getting to know each other at my wedding instead of separated into their various groups. I think God may feel like that. He wants to see all the people who know Him mingling together and not segregating themselves.

This church is mostly black or white but there are also plenty of Asians and Hispanics. It seems more like what Heaven will be like- All of us worshiping together. The preaching was good. I have served as a full-time missionary and been to a lot of churches. I am a bit of a snob about church services. Some preachers pick one little verse from the Bible and then spend all their time trying to stretch the short verse into a 20 minute ten-point sermon. I prefer a sermon that focuses more on the Bible verses so that I come away with a greater understanding of the meaning of the passage. This guy also had a sense of humor and an obviously big heart. He mentioned a couple of people in the church who were struggling with hard stuff in their lives and we prayed for them right there. It made it feel like a family.

So, it looks like my church shopping is over, thankfully not long after it started. Unfortunately I will be out of town for a couple of weeks but I am excited to go back when I get a chance.

Back to Soundwaves

Today was a busy day especially compared to the last two days, which I had off. I started working at Soundwaves again today and then I had YoungLife at night. I wasn't sure what it would be like to go back to Soundwaves after a year and a half, but it was good. A lot of people I know still work there. It seems there is always basically the same core group of responsible people and then there is the revolving door of irresponsible, my first job, just here for the discount, lazy surfer types.

Despite their initial reluctance to take me back, they have made me a manager again. This is good because it means I tell people to do the crappy parts of the job instead of having to do them myself. I am going to have to be careful not to spend all my money on stuff at the store. There is a lot I want and I get a 35% discount. I am limiting myself to one thing a week. There was once talk of me having a lifetime discount so I will be able to get the discount when I am a teacher. That'd be cool.

Apparently one of the other managers, Jenny, has a stalker. This guy took a liking to her when she served him coffee. Apparently he later got on one knee and proposed. We've discovered that he is a paranoid schizaphrenic. He writes Jenny notes but calls her by different names. The letters tell of how he will support them once they're married. We called the cops and we are supposed to call 911 if he comes in the store. Pretty weird. Hopefully I am not there when he makes an appearance. Or maybe I want to be there. I do like drama.

YoungLife today was not the usual. We had a scavenger hunt where we had to take pics in various locations posing with an inflatable shark. It was fun and the kids got really into it. My team won, naturally. I got pretty into and I was driving a bit eratically in order to win. It was like I was on the Amazing Race but instead of winning a million dollars, I got a brownie. It was good to try to remember more of the kids' names. It is hard to come in at the end of the year because all the kids and leaders already know each other. Going to camp will definitely help me to get to know them better.

One funny note from YoungLife today: One of our leaders is this big muscular black guy named Bronson. He is an awesome guy. He's great with the kids and I am so thankful that we have him on our team. Anyway, he has the funniest phone ring. His ring is the Michelle Branch song, Everywhere. It is just hilarious to hear this incredibly girly ring go off on this large black man's phone. I die laughing everytime I hear it. Today it went off during club and all the kids laughed at him and rightfully so.

Tomorrow I am taking yet another road trip. I am certainly making the most of my new car. I am going to visit my brother in San Antonio. He should be heading back to Colorado soon and then Iraq May 20, so I need to get as much Andrew time as possible. It's definitely worth the six hour round trip.

Wedding Number 7

I was in my seventh wedding this weekend. Abbey and Wil are two of my friends from Maui and they got married in Toronto. I got to hang out with some of my favorite YWAM friends, including my YWAM best pal, Amy. It was awesome!

Wil and Abbey were only engaged seven weeks before the wedding so there was definitely a bit of last minute scrambling to get everything done. Amy, Kristy and I ran around the mall with Abbey's mom and niece to find a mother of the bride dress the day before the wedding. It looked bleak at first but we found something she really liked and she looked great.

We made little bouquets and butonaires (who actually knows how to spell that?) for the bride and groom's parents about five minutes before we left for the ceremony. It all came together just fine.

The ceremony was nice but it made me aware of my shrinking attention span. I found myself poking the flower girl in the head with my bouquet to annoy her. Then she started dropping flowers on my shoes. At this point I realized I should probably stop egging the eight year-old on during this very important event. The flower girl was Abbey's niece and one of the coolest eight year-olds I have ever met. And I have met a lot of eight year-olds. She was simply hilarious.

From my vantage point neither Abbey nor Wil cried, but they both seemed pretty nervous. They were both swaying during the ceremony and it looked a bit like dancing. Wil's face turned red several times and Abbey was clearly giggling. It was cute. One of the groomsmen got in a minor car accident on the way to the ceremony. His wife had back surgery in the past so they had to take her to the hospital to get checked out. It was a shame because he missed the whole thing. Amy and Bethany walked together with the last groomsmen on the way out.

With all the last-minute scrambling, we were more than a little shocked to show up to the super-fancy reception. It was held in a hotel on the 38th floor and the view of Toronto was awesome. There were at least 5 courses and I couldn't identify any of the foods on the first plate I was served. Now that's fancy!

And now Wil and Abbey are living happily ever after. And not to be graphic but after 30 long years of waiting, Wil gets to have sex. As Christians, I feel we need to be more open about celebrating people's celibacy. It's not easy to save yourself for marriage in this day and age so Way to go will! It also makes for better jokes at the wedding and reception. I look forward to that part of my wedding as well.

Check out the pics from the wedding:

I miss Maui but I LOVE Texas!

This weekend I did a crazy amount of traveling. I drove for 17 hours in three days. It had been a long time since I took a road trip so it was quite enjoyable.

On Friday I woke up early and drove to Louisiana. I met up with one of my YWAM Maui friends, Rebekah. She lives in Thibadeux and gave me a little Rebekah reality tour of the area where she grew up. North Louisiana feels like a less-cool version of Texas. South Louisiana, on the other hand, definitely has its own feel and culture. They have lots of Bayous and good local food. I got to partake in some of Rebekah's mom's gumbo. Yummy.

We drove about an hour down the bayou to visit one of the girls from my Bangladesh team. It was strangely normal to hang out with her. It was good to see her, though she has had a very hard time being home after being in YWAM. We got to pray for her. Hopefully she can come visit me in Houston some day.

The next morning Rebekah and I drove to Houston. We picked up some sweet free Texas loot at the border. Rebekah's sister lives in Houston so I dropped her off and then drove on to Austin, where my brother and Shella were hanging out.

The drive to Austin was simply gorgeous. The rains ended and the sky was abnormally bright blue with big fluffy. I have driven from Houston to Austin countless times during my college career so I have a regular stopping point at a gas station/store called Hruskas. In recent years they have expanded to include all kinds of crafts, knicknacks and scrap booking supplies. They even have marble in the bathroom. How many of you have seen a gas station bathroom that fancy? I grabbed some snacks and continued on my way. While in the car, I was listening to some Lyle Lovett song called "I Guess You're Not From Texas," eating kolaches, drinking a Dublin Dr. Pepper and admiring the beautiful bluebonnets. For those of you not from Texas, allow me to translate. Kolaches are kind of like dinner rolls with sausage on the inseide or fruit. They are primarily a breakfast food. A Dublin Dr.Pepper is a special version that uses pure cane sugar. It is sweeter and better than regular DR. Pepper. Bluebonnets are the state flower and cover the Texas Hill Country in the Spring. They are really beautiful.

So, I still miss Maui but I am remembering how much I love my birthplace. I guess it's good to be glad to be where you're at.

Check out pics from my visit at my online photo album: http://picasaweb.google.com/cloudhair

Texas Time

I have now been in Texas almost two weeks. Weird. It feels odd but normal. Things seem to be falling into place decently. I have a car. I am going back to work at my old job, Soundwaves until my teaching job will start. They made it sound like they weren't sure if they had room for me but then they tried to get me to work right away. I haven't worked there yet but I am looking forward to going back, esp since I know it won't be for that long. I am excited to see all the old people again.

I already had an interview for a teaching job. I have a lot of connections to the school and I think the interview went well. I am not getting my hopes up too high since they may not have the right opening or they might get more qualified applicants. It seems like a great school to work at so I hope it works out. As long as I am flexible, I am sure I will find something.

I am still having withdrawls after living in community. I used to have to choose to be alone and now I choose to hang out with people. I prefer it the other way. There is a lot less effort involved. My family is way over in cell phone minutes so I can't answer my phone before 9pm. It's annoying but it would be a lot worse if I was still in Maui. THen I couldn't talk to people until 2am Houston time.

I am doing a lot of traveling this weekend. I enjoy road trips so it should be fun times. I miss being able to drive far and fast since neither were possible in Maui.

Jet Lag does exist

I tried to pretend that I was now immune to jet lag after all my time zone switching. This is not true. I tried to wake up at 8am on Sunday to try out a local church. I went to sleep with good intentions and woke up at 11:45am. Oops. There's always next Sunday.

This weekend I got to see lots of quality people. On Saturday night, I got to hang out with Jocelyn, Emily and Thama. We hung out at the Harnly house and it was like old times. Too bad Jocelyn sold the trampoline. The Harnly house actually feels more like home than my own house. My parents lived across the street from Jocelyn's family from when I was in third grade through my graduation from college. Their new house doesn't feel quite like home yet.

On Sunday, we had a bunch of people over to our house to welcome me and Andrew home. It was fun. I got to see lots of people I really enjoy all at once. It was almost overwhelming. The funniest part of the party was when I was trying to look out the window and see Lindsay Ray's new yellow Ford Focus. The chair I was perched on started rocking and I quickly repositioned myself in order not to fall. I didn't fall and thought all was good. Then my sister-in-law starts to exclaim. Apparently unbeknowst to me, I had split the back of my skirt. I basically flashed two of my friends' husbands. Now that's a party! I had Thama cover me from behind and I ran down to my room to change.

I have realized that being in YWAM changed the way I think about things. YWAM has a fairly strict dress code and I get a weird feeling when my friends here are violating the dress code. It took all I had not to tell one of my friends to change her too-short shorts. I knew it was best to say nothing. I can't implement a Liz dress code that people must follow around me. That would be weird. I am also not used to getting honked at. I was walking down the street today and got quite a few honks from Mexican men in pick-up trucks. Apparently they had seen my photos from ourr Mexican ohana dinner. I do make a lovely Latina. I also overestimated how much food we would need for the party. I forgot that non-YWAMers don't gorge themselves on free food. Despite the weekly supply of baked goods at YWAM, I did everything but stuff food in my pants when free food was presented. I am sure I will see other differences in my thinking as time goes on.

New car!!!!

I am back in Houston and I have spent pretty much my whole time here (other than sleeping and eating) looking for a car to buy. Today my brother and I traveled all over Houston in search for the elusive used Rav 4. Apparently they didn't make enough of these or people love them too much to sell. Each dealership only had one or two. There were a frighteningly large amount of gold ones. I don't like the color gold. I think it is for pimps and grandmas. It looks especially dumb on an SUV. After two days of serious searching, I am now the proud owner of a 2001 silver (not gold) Rav 4. I am so excited!! My parents were troopers and stayed with me at the dealership until after 10pm. Unfortunately my insurance won't start until midnight tomorrow so I will just have to gaze lovingly at it in the garage tomorrow.

Oh well, I think I am going sailing with my brother, his wife and his friend, Robert Tyler so I won't need it anyway. Yay! Yay! I got a new car!!!!!!!

We were robbed

This morning I woke up to find that the window screen above our kitchen window was off. Also the bottles that reside on the window sill were moved and scattered about. One time I locked myself out and had to climb through the same window so I assumed that one of my roommates had done the same. Then I realized that both Holly and Jess's laptops were not in the living room like usual. After talking with them, we reaized that we had been robbed. Jess lost her laptop, though they left behind the power cord so it can't be used for long. Holly lost her laptop, iPod and about $15.

I feel so bad for them. None of my stuff was stolen. I'd always been wary of leaving my things in the living room since our house has large uncovered windows that give everyone who comes by a view of our living room.

Both Jess and Holly are having hard weeks so this especially sucks. Holly found out she has shingles, which is like gnarly painful chicken pox. Jess had to babysit some drunk co-workers last night and one puked in her car.

We called the cops and they came and dusted for fingerprints. I felt a little dumb for disturbing the crime scene. I have watched countless episodes of Law and Order so I certainly should have known better. I really hope Jess and Holly get their stuff back soon.

Test Drive

I am trying to see if posting pics on here works.

Leaving Sucks

I am getting really sad about leaving. Last week, I was focusing on some uncertain situations at home. Now, all I can think about is how sad I am to leave. All my other worries have faded away. I love these people here so much. I understand my life here and enjoy it. I am excited to go home but there is still a lot of uncertainty about how exactly my life will look there. I need to get a car, a job, a church and many other things. I know I am supposed to go home and that it will all work out but I hate not knowing all the details.

With that said, what is really getting to me is the leaving Maui and all these friends part. Tonight we had girls' staff growth group and they prayed for me and said nice things about me. It was nice but I was barely able to hold in the tears. Tomorrow there is a going away party for me at the base. There will be more sharing of nice things as well as snacks.

I should probably be packing more but my general denial of leaving makes that difficult. I seem to have accumulated an abnormally large collection of misc. stuff. I plan on giving lots of stuff away but it will still be a stretch to get it all home.

I am giving my website to some of my friends here so I will no longer have it. I will be posting pictures on a photo sharing website. Here is the link:

http://picasaweb.google.com/cloudhair

Family Reunion

I leave in 9 days! Wow! I am no longer in the double digits. I know that it is not yet real to me because I only know how long I have left when I look at my watch. I don't have much of a mental countdown going. I have decided instead of hiding, that I will just make lots of plans with people up until I leave. I am having a trashy tv night at my house as well as an office party. (Not for people who work in the office but for people who want to watch "The Office" with me. It should be good times. I also have a going away party for another friend and a birthday party.

On Wednesday night we are having a fun event. We usually have ohana dinners once a month. Ohana is Hawaiian for family and the dinners usually involve a theme and special food. Our last one was Mexican-themed. I dressed up and I have to admit, I looked awesome! Check out the pics on my website. We had lots of fun eating flan, hitting a pinata and dancing. The Macarena contest got a little wild and a little loud. Our neighbors already hate the fact that 50 young adults moved in next door. We can no longer have ohana dinners at our house because we are afraid they will call the cops.

We decided to get around this by having a family reunion-themed ohana. We are having it at a park nearby. The staff and students will be divided into "families" and we will compete in some family reunion-type games. I am excited. I think we are going to wear matching shirts. It doesn't get much better than that, huh? It will be a fun chance for us all to hang out before the students (and me) leave a week later. I am hoping for a potato sack race.

Sucks to Leaving

I am over this whole leaving thing. I have been feeling like I did when I graduated from college. For those of you who've been friends with me for awhile, you may remember how I wasn't too good at adjusting to that change either. It's not that I am not excited about my next step. I am just sad to leave this life. I am still having trouble socially. I still have to fight the urge to hide in my room, eat excessive amounts of sugar and watch episodes of The Office. I give in sometimes, but I have been hanging out with my friends a lot. I am now at the point where I need to start scheduling time to hang out with specific people or it's not going to happen. I was operating under the mistaken assumption that I could manage to spend time with all the important people by chance. I need to be purposeful with my limited time.

I am hoping to come back to Maui over next Thanksgiving break. I need to have an idea of when I will be back to make the leaving not as bad. I am also feeling torn between not wanting to leave and wanting to be home. I am a bit sad about not being home right now. My brother is home with the rest of my family and I feel like I am missing out. Luckily Andrew will be home for almost 2 more weeks when I get home before he goes back to Iraq. We didn't expect him to be home right now so it's a bonus no matter how much time I get.

In fun news, I went to a lingerie shower last night. I just love those things. It is a pretty funny concept when you think about it- girls giving their friend underwear and sexy lingerie. Sometimes it feels like the event is more for the perspective husband than the bride. Maybe next time I go to one, I should ask the husband what he would like. Except that could be a bit weird/awkward.

There is always a lot of blushing and giggling when the presents are revealed. I have never been to a non-Christian one of these but I can only imagine. Most of my friends have either never had sex or have at least never had sex with the guy they are marrying. This makes for some fun jokes. Last night the shower was for Sara Engler. I just love that girl. She got a lot of nice stuff. I usually try to go over the top with my gifts but the island has a very sparse selection. I only managed to find some edible pasties. Not up to my normal standard. I know when I get married, my friends will go over the top to pay me back for the scandalous gifts I gave them. I am a little scared!

This weekend I am going to try to get in some beach time as I am looking a bit pasty.

Dreaming of Beyonce

In the last two weeks I have had two dreams about Beyonce Knowles. I have no idea. I have never been one to have prophetic dreams but maybe she and I will meet. In the first dream, she was with the other members of Destiny's Child at a hotel after their concert in Houston. We were all hanging out and I got them to sing "Bug A Boo" to me.

The second dream was that I was in a liquor store with my friends, Laura Cole and Sarah Olthuis and Beyonce was there as well. She was having a hard time because she felt too much pressure to put out another hit. I tried to reassure her about all the other successes she'd had in the past. I also reminded her of her current hit song, "Irreplaceable." Beyonce was still feeling stressed and upset so she put her head in my lap and I stroked her hair to comfort her. So weird, huh?

On a non-Beyonce related note, I am going to be in my seventh wedding! My friend, Abbey is marrying fellow Maui Ywamer, Wil Brilinger. They are getting married on April 21 and only got engaged a week ago. This does not leave much time for planning. Abbey is one of the funniest brides-to-be that I have ever been around. She is so relaxed and chill about all the wedding decisions- maybe a little too relaxed. It has been fun to help her plan. The wedding will be in Canada and Abbey just realized that an outdoor wedding is out of the question in Canada in April. She is from Alabama and always pictured a beach wedding. That's not going to happen in Ontario either.

She found out that Wil wanted to have five groomsmen and wasn't sure who her five bridesmaids would be. I suggested myself and she thought that was a great idea. I pretty much invited myself to be in the wedding. Then she decided on Bethany and Amy because they are friends and because they are likely to be able to attend the wedding since they are from that part of Canada. She asked a friend from home to be her maid of honor. And then Kristy said she might come since she was already planning on being in Toronto then. Now she is a bridesmaid too even though she and Abbey barely know each other. The only real bridesmaid qualifications are a black dress and a plane ticket to Toronto. So funny! I think the whole thing will be a blast and I can't wait to go. I love weddings anyway and this one is shaping up to be a fun one. I am sure it will provide some good material for the book I have been trying to write.

Long time no post

The town I live in here is so random. It's hard for anyone to understand who has never been here. Last week I saw an old man closely resembling Santa Claus (long white beard, pot belly, etc) wearing nothing but a speedo and going into the post office. That is not normal.

There is also this bald lady who lives here that scares me. I see her reading the Bible but she is definitely not Christian. She hangs out at the local coffee shop, though I don't know how she has money. I don't know who would hire her to work. She sometimes follows YWAMers around hissing and whispering the word, "Satan." I have been wanting to talk to her but I am also scared. Today I was driving to the base and she was hitchhiking in that direction. I probably would have picked her up if I hadn't been alone but the thought of being alone in a car with her as she hissed at me, seemed too much to bear.

There is also a character here called Paia Dave. He is an old guy who used to wear a top hat. I unfortunately ran into him once at the nude beach. (I was just walking by, not sunning myself.) Thankfully, he was submerged in water up to his chest. Today the students had an outdoor worship time by the beach. Paia Dave stopped by (fully clothed) to listen to them jam. He has a reputation for being a bit too forward with the ladies. I had to bite my cheeks to keep from laughing outloud as I watched him watch the female student next to him. He couldn't take his eyes off her and she didn't look too interested.

I am definitely having issues with leaving this place. On one hand I am anxious to leave and see Andrew and it's not the same now that my YWAM best friend is gone. On the other hand, I still have a lot of amazing friends here, I get to live in Paradise, I get to serve God full-time and I get to see God move everyday. These mixed emotions cause me to act in two ways. I either want to spend as much time with people as possible or I want to hide in my room indefinitely and watch episodes of The Office. Now, this is a good show but it cannot take the place of socialization. For the most part I fight my hermit urges. In fact, my week is already packed with plans that involve other people. I just have to figure out how to balance hanging out with all these people while I still can with my need for privacy and reflection during this transitional time.

Longhorns beat Aggies and life gets better

Today was a melancholy day. Amy left for good yesterday and there is still a lot of uncertainty about my brother. People kept making sad faces at me and asking me how I was doing. It's a lot easier to just say that I am fine instead of trying to explain how weird and scattered I feel. It's not that I want to lie but if I voice that I am not doing so good, I usually cry. That is disconcerting to people. It doesn't help that I am super-busy at work right now. That should pass, though when the Fall team goes home this weekend.

It was a long day with testimony night in addition to our normal workday. This is when the teams who just got back from outreach tell about their awesome adventures. Hearing what the Lord is doing couldn't help but boost my spirits. Then when I got home, I discovered that the University of Texas Longhorns had beat the Texas A&M Aggies at basketball. Unfortunately I missed the actual game but I read the recap on the internet and saw the highlights. It was quite the game! I still have a hard time believing that the Aggies are ranked in the top ten but I have seen them and they are good. It's still weird. I won't be home this year for March madness but at least I live in a house with TIVO. No commercials for me! PS- Did I mention that the Longhorns beat the Aggies? Just checking!

Good bye my friend!

Life seems chaotic these days. My YWAM best friend, Amy left today to return to Toronto. It's weird to think I won't be seeing her everyday anymore. She is my default friend here. Thankfully I have several other really close friends here but Amy is the one I spent 90% of my free time with. We had lots of crazy adventures and I will miss her a lot. I have already decided I will go visit her in Toronto in July. Her family has a cottage on the lake. I don't know much about cottages being from Texas. But Canadians all seem to have access to these things. Apparently they are places to relax and be lazy and play on a lake. This sounds splendid. It is also important for my own sanity that I have a tentative date I will see her again. It makes leaving easier. Today I dropped her off at the airport but then her flight got canceled. So, a few hours later I picked her up and we went to Jamba Juice. I guess that means our first goodbye was a practice one.

Amy leaving makes it more real that I too, will be leaving. So strange. I can't deal with this fact yet. Also the Andrew situation is still a bit stressful. It looks like he should be heading back to the U.S. by the end of the week. News changes a lot so I am not sure if it will actually happen. He should be going to D.C. and then San Antonio. It sounds like he will be sent back to Iraq once he recovers. I really hope he will be in Texas at least until I get back home at the end of March. If he goes back to Iraq before I am scheduled to come back to Texas, I will probably have to fly back home early. I don't want to do that but I will if it's the only chance for me to see him. I know I'd regret it if I didn't. I like to be in control but this is a situation I have no control over. I need to stop worrying about things that may or may not happen.

During this stressful time, I have tried to find constructive ways to deal with my angst at the many uncertain situations. I keep trying to give my burdens to the Lord and spend more time with Him. In addition to this, I have been watching an abnormal amount of the tv show, The Office. I am not sure why. Andrew and I watched an excessive amount of tv growing up and I think this has resulted in the function of television as a relaxation/stress reducing tool. There is something so nice about forgetting some of the craziness as I watch people's fake lives. And the show is stinkin' hilarious. I am fully addicted. TV on DVD has revolutionized my life.

I have been impressed about how many people have expressed their prayers and support of Andrew. It means so much to me and my family. It is hard to be away from them right now and knowing that so many people are praying, gives me peace. Thanks a lot.

Andrew

This has been a rough weekend. The Fall DTS teams are back in town so there are tons of logistical things for me to do. The old students are living in Paia and the current students live at our base in Haiku. This means that the Fall students have to be driven to Haiku for worship and meals. We have to fully utilize our four vans. Last week one of our vans had a bit of an accident. Rebekah was driving when the hood flew up and broke the windshield. Apparently bungee cords are not a long-term solution to a loose hood problem. Rebekah thought quickly and pulled over without incident. I am glad I wasn't driving. I don't know if I would have handled it so well. Luckily, the van got fixed before the students arrived.

On Saturday morning, I found out Andrew, my younger brother, got injured in Iraq. He and several of his men were hit by shrapnel as an explosive device went off behind a wall. My brother was hit in his left thigh and leg and in his right foot. He already had surgery in Kuwait. He has been moved to Germany and is in the hospital there. One of his good friends is in Germany with his wife and they were able to go visit Andrew. This is such a blessing since I was so sad at the thought of him being all alone and hurt. He is likely being transferred back to the United States for his recovery, which could take a few months. He will probably go to a hospital in Washington D.C and we hope he could get transfered to one in San Antonio. It's hard to know what exactly is happening with the army.

At first I was kind of numb when I found out. Then the big sister in me kicked in. I have made it my job to take care of my brother since the day he was born. Even though he is a married 24 year-old Army Lieutenant, I still want to protect him. My friend, Holly, works at the nicest hotel on the island. She and some other friends stayed there this weekend and invited me and Amy to join them. I had fun going down the crazy water slides and riding on the water elevator. Who knew there was such a thing? The Grand Wailea has the coolest pool I had ever seen. After experiencing the pools, I sat down and talked with my friend, Maria. I was telling her about Andrew and I just started bawling. It seems like so many bad things are happening at one time. I feel a lot better today after getting an update from his wife, Shella on how he is doing.

I am realizing that I need to be better at giving my burdens up to the Lord. I need to learn how to pray for things but not let the weight of them overwhelm me. The Lord tells us He will carry our burdens and I need to take Him up on His offer.

Please keep praying for Andrew and our family.

Kona Part 2: Love was in the air

Our students aren't allowed to date. When they first arrive, we tell them to "put their periscopes up" and check out all the hotties in their class. Then we tell them to put their periscopes away and that they will stay hidden until graduation. Staff are allowed to date. As staff, we all joked that we'd all have our periscopes up when we went to Kona. It's hard not to check people out at these big events full of single, passionate Christians. I definitely noticed the good-looking men but nothing happened. I was sick at the beginning of the week and sounded very much like a young guy going through puberty. This is not really the right condition to meet the love of your life. I'm not really on the prowl anyway. It's just fun to joke about.

Love was in the air for some people. My friends, Bethany and Matt officially became a couple while we were in Maui. Matt is one of my closest guy friends and like a brother to me. It is a little weird but very fun to see him so excited about a girl. Bethany is my friend as well so it is all good. Some people long to make a serious commitment and plunge head into a serious relationship from Day one. Others take things very slow and ease into commitment talk. Bethany and Matt definitely fall into the first category and are already talking kids' names. As much as I am wary about people moving too fast, I think I long for a quick deep relationship rather than a long meandering one. I also think if you are over 25, you are more likely to know what you want anyway.

I had a very unromantic but fun Valentine's Day. I have never been one to get sad on Valentine's Day like some girls. I have only had a boyfriend on one Valentine's Day and we had a contest to see who could give the cheesiest gift. It wasn't the most romantic thing ever but fun times. I like free candy and Valentine's Day provides this. How can I not enjoy it? I spent my Valentine's with some friends. We had dessert at the Hard Rock Cafe. Good times! There are pics on my website.

Kona Part 1

My time in Kona was good but I am glad to be back in Maui. It was pretty crazy trying to organize a trip for 38 people. We got to the airport with plenty of time but the power was out. This meant an incredibly long line. It turned on again while we were waiting but that didn’t make the 100 people in line in front of us disappear. Because we made up such a large percentage of the plane, they made the plane wait for us. They tried to let us skip the security line but then the TSA people started throwing a fit. It was pretty funny.

On the way back, we had some travel troubles as well. The Kona base only had two vans to take us to the airport. We had too many people for two vans so we had to make two trips. I was with the second group and we didn’t get to the airport until 30 minutes before our flight was supposed to leave. I freaked out when I saw the very long security line. I was so nervous about making our flight but when I finally got through security, I saw that our plane hadn’t even started boarding yet. My prayers were answered. Unfortunately three of our guys had to stay and go on a later flight because their seats had already been given away. One of our students almost missed the flight because he wasn’t wearing shoes. Luckily someone had an extra pair in their carry-on. I didn’t know that you have to wear shoes to get on a plane. I have never desired to walk barefoot onto a plane but I guess now I know I won’t work.

I liked some of the lectures in Kona but some things they had us do were weird or juvenile. There was an altar-call type thing at every lecture. They would say something like- “Who wants to experience more of the Lord?” or “Who wants God’s heart for the nations?” Then they would tell everyone who wanted what they were saying to come up to the front. It seemed pretty pointless because everyone went up to the front. I stubbornly refused to give in to the peer pressure. The funniest thing they did was some activity where we hit beach balls and were supposed to say an attribute of God when we hit it. I really didn’t understand the correlation. I just laughed and tried to peg my friends. One time I hit the cross in the center of the room. What is that supposed to symbolize?

Overall I enjoyed praying for the nations of the world and finding out what God’s doing in other countries. Our group was very international and probably represented more than 50 countries. It made me wish I was from somewhere more remote like Myanmar or Azerbaijan. I did display my Texas pride with a lovely “Don’t Mess With Texas” t-shirt.

MySpace Indications

It has been too long since I blogged. I am getting lazy now that I am 26. I guess that is just a consequence of old age. I got to go to Oahu this weekend. It was fun times. Amy and I saw Mormons, prostitutes, Polynesian dancers, more Japanese people than I could count, old men in Speedos and big wave surfers. I got to go to a big mall and P.F. Chang's. Mmmm... Mongolian beef! I want to give a special shout-out to Amy's mom and my parents, who made the trip more fun with their monetary contributions. Also the rental car guy who upgraded our little economy car to a Ford Escape with leather seats and sun roof. And next week, I get to go to Kona for the week. Life is pretty sweet, I must say.

I would like to make an observation on my generation's culture. There is an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry can gauge the status of his dating relationship by seeing where his name is located on his girlfriend's speed dial. She moves his name up and down based on how they are doing. Most people I know rely on cell phones and with numbers already stored in our phones, we don't use speed dial buttons very often. The modern-day equivilent of the speed dial rating system is the MySpace top friends list. Some people don't think too much about their top friends list and may list their boyfriend or girlfriend somewhere in the middle of the list. Others take the ranking more seriously and are sure to put their main squeeze in the number one spot.

I have a guy friend that I am pretty close to. I have been his top friend for awhile as he had no romatic interests. Now, he is beginning to pursue a mutual friend of ours. I am super excited for them as he is like a brother to me and she is awesome. Today I noticed that I have been bumped from number 1 friend to number 2. I understand this change of ranking but it is pretty amusing, nevertheless. I am okay with being number 2. And I am rooting him and number 1 along!

I get really sad about leaving here if I think about it too much. It is just such an amazing place. I am not even really talking about the beautiful Maui part but the amazing friends and co-workers I have here. We get to have prayer and worship together several times a week. We have laughed and cried with each other. I don't know if I could ever be as close to a group of people again in my life. I am trying to make the most of my time here but it seems to be slipping away. I am excited about going back to Houston and reconnecting with all my great Texas friends, but I will certainly mourn the end of my time as a missionary in Maui. I know God has a lot in store for me in Houston and I have a feeling He has better stuff in store for me than I can even imagine now.

Swimming in Smoothie and Wild Winds

This weekend, Amy and I visited her friend's sister, who was staying at one of the nice hotels on the other side of the island. We love the chance to play tourists so we jumped at the chance to lounge by their pool. The husband bought me and Amy smoothies. They were fancy and good. When the waitress delivered them, she gave a semi-stern warning about not bringing the drinks in the pool. We complied and left our drinks on the side of the pool as we sipped them. I had only taken a few sips when extreme clumsiness struck. I was animatedly talking about something and as gestured with my hand, I knocked my smoothie over, spilling most of it into the pool. So, in a matter of seconds, we were surrounded by a milky smoothie cloud. We went to work trying to move the cloud around and get rid of the evidence. Luckily the waitress/smoothie nazi was not there when it all went down. The smoothie cloud dissapated fairly quickly causing one to wonder what else had been dumped in the pool that we could no longer see. After the crisis was over, I tried to make the two tablespoons of smoothie I had left last as long as possible. Good times!

The weather has been super weird the last few days. The wind is crazy and there are tree limbs and coconuts all over the roads. It feels like being in the middle of a hurricane. The wind catches doors and slams them. It blows away anything not weighted down. It is so weird. The waves are huge too. I don't understand what's up but I guess it's exciting. There is also a big fire burning on the volcano. The wind has made it hard to get a handle on. Supposedly, it is still burning now but contained. It seems crazy to me that they can't put it out right away. That's Maui for you, I guess.

An Abundance of Blessings

There's some fun stuff happening in my life these days. In January, I got an email advertising $20 each way inter-island flights. I have never been to Oahu for more than an overnight lay-over. I simply couldn't pass this chance to go to Oahu for such a small price. To fly there after I return to the mainland would be hundreds of dollars. I convinced my YWAM best friend, Amy to come along on my adventure. We managed to find a super-cheap rental car as well. We tried a few connections to find a free place to stay. We didn't have any luck and it looked like we'd be sleeping in our economy-sized rental car. It wouldn' t have been too bad despite the potential for back spasms from contorted sleeping and the possiblity of being hassled by random hobos.

We sent an email to Amy's mom about our lack of accomodations and she generously offered to pay for most of the cost of a really fancy hotel in Waikiki. So cool! This is going to be such a fun trip and very low-budget. Amy leaves at the end of February so it will be really awesome to get to spend a fun-filled weekend together.

We are trying to plan what we'll do there. I wanted to go to the Polynesian cultural center but even the ticket prices for locals are a bit steep. My dad told me that it's really interesting. The part that intrigues me the most is that it is apparently run by the Mormon church. At the end, they try to get you to go on a tour of BYU's Hawaii campus. I think that sounds fantastic! I have an abnormal fascination/love for the Mormons. We'll just have to see if anyone else makes a donation to our trip. We'll be gone the first weekend of February.

Also I get to go to the Big Island in the month of February as well. There is a big YWAM Hawaii conference called "The Gathering." A bunch of people from the various Hawaii YWAM bases will get together at our really big base in Kona. I was having trouble deciding if I wanted to go because it means being away from Maui for a week and I wasn't sure if I could afford the airfare now that the $20 special is over. I prayed and felt like I was supposed to go. After I already decided, I found out that the base would pay for my airfare since I was working directly with the DTS and all the DTS students and leaders would be going. So cool! Now I am really excited! It will be awesome to gather with so many other YWAMers, especially since I will be leaving YWAM at the end of March. So, in case you can't tell, I am pretty stoked about February!

I love prayer!

I have been worrying more than usual about a few things in my life. I posted two of the big ones as prayer requests so other people could pray about them. I have some other stuff in my life that I feel anxious about but the big two are my brother in Iraq and my student who is not doing well. I am usually not a big worrier but this stuff is tough. After letting people know of my prayer requests, I have felt so much peace about these situations. Of course, if I let myself really dwell on them for a long time, then I can make myself worry. But I no longer feel like throwing up when I think about it. So, the moral of the story is that prayer really works. I need to be better about letting people know of all my needs because having others lift you up in prayer really takes the burden off your shoulders.

So, thanks to everyone who has been praying for me. Keep up the good work!

I am so old!

Yesterday was my birthday. I am now the big 2-6, which sounds super old to me. 25 is cool because you are a quarter of a century old. 26 just means that you have officially begun the slippery slide to 30. Eek! Luckily there were people at my birthday party from ages 21-36 so I was in the middle of the age bracket. I have now joined Matt Laskey and Rachel Cordy in the 26 club. Last year on base, four people turned 25 in little over a week. This year only Rachel and I were on base but it is still a good club.

I had to work during the day but the hospitality people made me wear a birthday poncho/cape thing. It was pretty frightening but everyone knew it was my birthday. This saves us all from the awkwardness of people forgetting and then remembering later and feeling bad. I got a cake with the phrase- "Hot Stuff" on it. Not too shabby. I also got some desk supplies. My friend, Amy gave me a mousepad with our picture in it and a name plate type-thing with interchangeable phrases. It currently says: "Looking for Love." It can also say, "I love drama", "Obsessive Compulsive" and for some unknown reason- "It's just baby fat." I think I will stick with "Looking for Love."

I got phone calls from most of my favorite people, although there were a couple noteable people who were prevented from calling on account of being in Nepal or Iraq or for other reasons. I thought my parents had forgot me but they came through in the end. It was sad not to talk to Andrew but the war doesn't stop because it is your sister's birthday. Last year, Marti Harnly won the contest to see who could send me a card or gift so it came on my actual birthday. This year I guess Newsweek magazine technically won. Oh well, this means that my birthday will just keep going as I get belated cards and packages. Feel free to send them now. You know I love packages.

At night I went to eat Mexican food with friends and then came back to my house for a little party. Amy and Holly got some Strawberry Shortcake-themed party supplies. We had some blower-things, strawberry sunglasses and even little strawberry-shaped gift bags with candy and little girl make-up. Josh Cordy looked especially nice in the blue eyeshadow. We had lots of chocolate chip cookies and played my favorite game, Loaded Questions. It was really fun and we laughed so much. Our answers verged on inappropriate, which is my favorite way to play the game.

Eric, one of my students from this summer was in town for the day on his way to Oahu. I pretended it was because it was my birthday. It was cool that he could come to my birthday festivities. The guest list was: Ashley, Josh, Eric, Matt, Holly, Amy, Bethany, Rachel, Kieva, Maria and Esther. It was a really good birthday and way better than the one when my Grandma died and I had to go to the viewing on my birthday. Way better!

Hippies, Tsunamis, Naked People and Celebrities... Must be Maui!

I have a lot of things on my mind but rather than write about those things, I will give you some insight into life on Maui. Here are a few things I experienced this weekend.

On Friday night there was a tsunami warning. Apparently there was an earthquake in Japan and there was a chance it would cause a tsunami to hit Hawaii. There was a lot of gossip and suspense about our possible impending doom. At about 8pm, the news station said that if a tsunami was coming, we'd hear the tsunami sirens at 9pm and that would give us 3 hours to head up the volcano before the big wave hit. I was watching updates on my tv but the people on our base don't have tv access so they were really out the loop. I got a call to "inform" me that an earthquake happened in Alaska and there would be a tsunami warning at midnight, if it was coming. It was like playing a game of telephone. Thankfully it was a false alarm. The transmission on my borrowed car isn't very reliable so I was glad to not have to test it as I fleed from a giant wave.

I am still trying to train for a triathlon. I am doing pretty good with biking and running but I haven't done enough swimming. I tried to rectify this situation by swimming in the ocean on Saturday morning. In case you were wondering, it is not a good idea to swim in the ocean after a tsunami warning. The sea was angry for sure. I put on my goggles and swam out a few yards. Then I just got repeatedly pummeled by the rocky seas for about 10 minutes til I feared drowning and swam to shore. I am sure I looked really funny. I was exhausted. I had gone for a run earlier that morning. I now understand why the swimming is the first part of the triathlon. They don't want people to get exhausted and drown.

On my way to and from Baldwin Beach, I passed by an unofficial nude beach. It is a common hippie hang-out. Often there are no nudes there but this time, unfortunately, there were. There was a family with two small kids and one very naked dad. Talk about awkward family time! I am so glad my dad is not so "open." Then I saw this guy we call "Paia Dave." Paia Dave is a an old homeless guy with a scruffy wit beard, who inexplicably wears a top hat all the time. Well, he was certainly not wearing the top hat when I saw him at the beach. Thankfully, he was in waist-deep water when I made the mistake of glancing towards the ocean.

I heard through the grapevine that Owen, Luke Wilson and their unfamous brother, Andrew will be coming to Paia at the end of the month. I love a good celebrity sighting! I can't wait to try my "keeping it cool celebrity sighting" tactic. My goal would be to see one of them on the streets and just say, "Hey Luke." Then they know I know but I am not making a big scene. We'll see. I lost my nerve when I saw Kelly Osborne. I won't make that mistake again.

Deep Thinking with a side of Puking

I have been doing a lot of deep thinking lately. This is a good thing, though sometimes not so fun. For those of you who read this for the humor, I will begin with a short story before I get to the deep thinking, less humorous stuff.

I have moved into my new place. It is pretty sweet and I like it though I haven't spent a whole lot of time there yet. My roommate, Holly, has a cat named Sushi. Sushi's tail got run over by a car and Holly's sympathetic co-workers gave her some raw ahi (which I believe qualifies as sushi) to boost her spirits. So, Holly has been serving Sushi the cat, sushi the food. This seems borderline cannabilistic. Anyway, last night after Holly fed Sushi his sushi, he got a peculiar look on his face. Yes, cats do make facial expressions. And it was too late to stop anything when I realized that the facial expression meant, "Hey new roomie, I am about to barf on your sandals. So, Sushi puked sushi onto my sandals. Sick! Sushi definitely did not make a good first impression.

Yesterday was our last day of staff development. Tom, our amazing base director, was talking about sometimes sins we constantly struggle with are rooted in deeper issues. We try to keep treating the symptoms but they never fully go away because the root of the sinful behavior is still there. His example was how in college he used to tell lots of white lies when someone asked him something he did not know. He kept trying to stop but could not. He finally realized it was a pride issue that most people would never have guessed. He is probably the most humble man I know. Once he started praying about and dealing with the pride issue, he was able to overcome the temptations to make up stuff instead of admitting when he didn't know something.

After Tom shared, he gave us time to pray and contemplate how this applies to our own lives. It was really good for me. I realized that a deep root of bitterness is causing me to respond negatively to some important people in my life. I have to let go of old grievances whether they are valid or not. I will continue to work through this but this principle is so important when trying to figure out why we struggle so much with certain sins. I encourage all of you to try to find the root of those pesky perpetual sins in your life. In general, I have been having really good times with the Lord since I have been back. Such a blessing!

Today I found out more worrisome news. I got an email about a soldier dying and it looks like he was in my brother's company. That's hard to think about. And I got another update about the girl I mentored who is doing poorly. I wish I could write what I found out but that's not fair to her. Needless to say, the latest news is pretty bad and life changing. I wish I could just steal her and lock her into a room until she is strong enough to resist these temptations that are so harmful to her. I love her so much and it is hard to hear of her stumbling. I know that God is in control but it is still hard to hear about what she's doing since some of her actions have very serious consequences. Please pray for her.

On a lighter note, the students for the Winter school have begun arriving today. The chaos is begining and it is a lot of fun. I am looking forward to getting to know these new students, especially since this is the last school I will be here for.

Back in Maui

I have been back in Maui for two days now. It was so good to see all of my friends again. Most people had left to go home for Christmas before I left. This meant the base was pretty empty. Most people got back before me so I came home to all my friends. It was really nice to see them. It feels like I haven't even left. I think this is because I was only gone for two and a half weeks and before that I was gone for three months.

I want to make the most of my time here and I know it will fly by. Today I started as the DTS administrator and I think it will be a good fit for me. I will get to work closely with Matt, who was my co-leader to Bangladesh. He feels like a big brother to me. My friend, Rachel turned 26 today and joined Matt in the 26 club. I am way younger since I don't join the club until the 17th. My time as a 25 year old is definitely dwindling. I am getting old. Oh well, at least Matt and Rachel joined the club first. We tried to go to a Mexican restaurant with cheap tacos but we had to wait for two hours. I actually just hung out with them outside for an hour and then went to the gym. We all had our share of socially awkward moments.

Ashley smashed her forehead into a sign as we all looked on. I flicked a bug off of Ashley and into some woman who screamed and jumped up. But the worst was when Kristy smacked the butt of a woman she thought was our friend but certainly was not. The girl was not mad but Kristy's face was bright red. I try to believe that we are not your average dorky missionaries but these type of moments don't help my plight much.

We are having staff meetings this week to get ready for the students who arrive on Thursday. It has been really good and the staff seems to be doing much better after the break. I think we all needed some time away. I know I did. We discussed 1 Peter today which may be my favorite book of the Bible. There is just so much in it that applies to my life. It got me excited to spend more time with the Lord, which is always good.

Hard Stuff

It's hard to love and care about people sometimes. My heart hurts right now because I have found out that a girl I mentored, discipled and poured my heart into, is making some harmful decisions. It hurts me because I love her. It makes me not want to love anyone so I can't get hurt but I know that is neither healthy nor realistic. I feel like this post is already leaning towards philisophical but I suppose that's the mood I should go with and not fight it.

I just hurt so much when my friends are suffering. I read in a book called Red Moon Rising about a guy who was part of a big 24 hour a day prayer movement. His sister had anorexia and he didn't want to pray for her. He couldn't figure it out since he was part of this prayer ministry. But he realized that he didn't want to have to really feel her pain. When we really care about people and pray for them, we do feel their pain and it is difficult. I have prayed for the girl I mentioned above so much and I am sure that is part of why this is so painful. I know that she makes her own choices and even these bad decisions now don't negate all the progress she made but it still hurts. I am not going to give up on loving and caring about people but this is definitely the part of it I hate. Please pray for my friend.

Asbestos 'Arama

Yesterday I got to go to lovely Orange, Texas (yes it is part of Orange County.) This Orange County is a very different OC. I had been back on Maui about one month when Hurricane Katrina hit. I felt torn, wanting to go back and help this area of the country I loved and knowing how far away I was from it. Yesterday, I got the chance to help with some hurricane relief in Orange. I had no idea that so many people's houses were still in shambles after over a year. I think Orange was really impacted by the second hurricane, Rita.

I helped with students from the Wesley Foundation, which I was involved in when I was in college. Rusty, my college pastor, asked me to come speak to the students. So, Katie H and I drove out to Orange. Actually we accidentally ended up in Lousiana. We weren't paying attention to the signs and passed Orange. Luckily we only went about ten miles or so before we figured it out. It was the "Welcome to Louisiana" sign that clued us in that we'd gone too far.

We got to help clean up the pieces of a battered roof. Some of the house had been made with asbestos. We had to collect all the asbestos and set it aside for disposal. No one knew much about asbestos other than that it can cause some crazy health problems. Some people were so paranoid that it seemed they thought they would get cancer after even looking at the asbestos. There were masks for people to wear but not enough to go around. I am not too scared. After Bangladesh, very little scares me. I have had dengue fever, after all.

Hot and Cold in Houston

I know I am back in Houston because it is December and in the last week I have worn everything from shorts and a t-shirt to a sweater and wool coat. Almost everyday I use both the heater and the air conditioner in the Saturn. I like the cold weather sometimes but it will be nice to get back to Maui. I saw today that MTV has a new show that comes out on my birthday. It is some sort of Maui reality show. What a perfect birthday gift to me! A reality show about a place I love. Hopefully it will be a Temptation Island 3, but I doubt it.

College football is so much fun! The good bowl games are about to begin and I am excited. My dad has a big tv with cable and HD tv so the set-up is pretty sweet. I have also recently become a Tennessee Titans fan. I have always loved Vince Young and I figure he is a good enough reason to love a whole team. A lot of Houstonians like the Texans but I am not into them. I think their name is stupid and so are they for passing on my man, Vince.

I have decided to train for a triathlon. It is a shortened version- 3 miles running, 15 miles biking, and 1/3 mile swimming. It seems hard but not too hard and I will have 3 months to train. I like to have an athletic goal to work towards. I can practice swimming in the ocean in Maui. Pretty sweet.

I have been able to see a lot of quality people although most visits have been painfully short. I got to see: Sarah Musselman and baby Madeline, Erin and Zach Morrow and baby Joe, Sarah Morgan and Devin O'Bryan, Katie H, Emily and Van HArdin, David and Suzie Ray, Mike and Susie Ray, Jane Kim and James Chastant, Sarah McGregor and more. I still have a lot more people to see. Tomorrow I am going to Orange, TX to help my college pastor, Rusty and his students do hurricane relief. Rusty wants me to speak to his students and get them pumped about missions. It should be cool.

Missing Andrew

I miss my brother. It is very weird not to have him here at X-Mas. I have been visiting some very quality friends but I usually have my brother to hang out with whenever I am not hanging out with other people. I am happy that next year he will be back. It is just not the same without him at all.

He called his wife so we heard a bit of how he's doing. He apparently got 24 packages when he came back. Way more than anyone else. I don't think I have gotten 24 packages in the last year. I guess Iraq seems a bit more package-worthy than Maui. I can't complain. Afterall, they don't have Wal-Mart in Iraq.

Please continue to pray for my brother.

Back in the Lone Star State

I have been on the mainland for almost two days now. Today was cold and there was even hail. I definitely know I am not in Maui anymore. It is nice to rediscover my winter clothes and watch cable television. I am trying to figure out how to schedule my time in such a way that I get to see all my favorite people and get some restful alone time. I thought three weeks would be a long time at home but my schedule is filling up rather quickly. I am excited about all the people who are around at Christmas time. I am going on a bit of a baby-seeing tour. I have already seen Madeline Musselman and I get to see Joe Morrow this weekend. In Maui, I have been spending a lot of time with my friend, Maria and her baby, Kieva so I am more comfortable around the little guys than I used to be. It is really fun to see how God combines my friends' features to make a new person that looks like both of them.

I am officially going to have a different job when I go back to Maui. I am glad. I am sure the other YWAMers will be happy as well since I am really not very gifted in culinary exploits. I have always planned to really get into cooking after I get married. That will be a lot different than working in the kitchen and trying to feed 100 people for $.60. I went to the grocery store and it was amazing! There were so many fun things to choose from and it is all so much less expensive than Maui.

Overall it is really nice to be home, though I do miss some of my Maui friends. If only I were rich and famous and could afford to pay my favorite people to travel around with me as my entourage....Wouldn't that be nice?

Reindeer games

Tomorrow I leave for home. The flight is not too bad since I only have to fly to Honolulu and then straight to Houston. It is an overnight flight so I am praying that I can sleep on the plane. I am also praying for empty seats next to me. We'll see. I am a bit nervous about going home and how I am going to juggle my time. I have been wary of making firm plans but I think that might cause problems. As of now, I have written down all the various windows of hangout opportunities with various friends but I haven't gotten firm dates. I think I want the hanging out to happen naturally, which seems virtually impossible given the time constraints. We'll see. I am sure it will all work out.

Christmas will be strange without my brother around. I have been away from my family at Christmas twice but I have never been with my family minus my brother. I will definitely miss him. My favorite game at Christmas is something we call reindeer games. This game involves repositioning those white, metal, lighted reindeer lawn ornaments into sexual positions. It is not gross just hilarious! There is also the element of suspense as you try not to get caught. My brother, Andrew, has some sort of God-given gift for it. He can look at a lawn and know exactly how to position the deer for maximum laughs. He once made a train with four. It was incredible. So, I don't know if I will play this year. It's just not the same without Andrew. I wonder if they have these fake reindeer in Iraq. I sure hope so.

I get to come back to Texas soon! I am excited but I feel like I have so much to get done before I leave. I only work in the kitchen about four hours a day but I have been trying to make the most of my time in Maui by spending time at the beaches. My YWAM best friend, Amy is in town with the guys she has been traveling the world with. They are from Canada so it is even more important for them to look tan when they go home. I too want to look bronzed to dazzle my friends. Bangladesh made me pretty white so I have some work to do.

Tanning aside, things are going pretty well. Amy is back and I have a car to use. There are not very many people on base so working in the kitchen is not as much work. There are a lot less dishes to do. I finally feel pretty at home being back in Maui. It is comforting to know that I will being living in a fun house in Paia when I get back and not a crowded sunroom in Haiku. I am going to try to be at the base a lot, though so I don't lose that community feel.

Escaping from Haiku

I am sitting on my bed, which is covered in a random assortment of my belongings. I have yet to feel like I am settled in my current living space. The fact is that I have too much stuff for the amount of space I have been allotted. This means I am frequently cleaning and organizing my life and that very often I end up sleeping in a bed with mail, clean laundry, pictures, my computer and anything else I might not have a place for. I know this is all teaching me some sort of valuable life lesson but I am not quite sure what it is.

I relayed my unfortunate scooter misfortune in an earlier post. I felt that the Lord was asking me to wait on getting a vehicle. I tend to be impatient/impulsive but I decided to wait. A girl on base is going home for a few months. She didn't want to sell her car but wanted someone to rent it for a few months. This is perfect for me since I didn't want to have to actually buy something after the Explorer fiasco. So, waiting on the Lord paid off. The girl leaves on Thursday so I will have wheels then. This freedom will be so nice. I am lucky to have several friends with cars as well as several friends that live off base. This means I have not felt too trapped up here in Haiku. But now I can escape this place without having to rely on an accomplice.

I spent this past weekend in Paia. It was lots of fun. My friend, Abbey's boyfriend, Wil, shares a house with my friend, Maria and her husband and baby. Wil was gone for the weekend so Abbey and I slept in his room. Abbey leaves for Nepal in two days so it was good to spend so much time with her. All the students leave at 5am on Wednesday and I am driving them to the airport. Those of you who really know me, know that I am no good early in the morning. I hope they aren't expecting me to talk. Things should become much less crazy when they leave.

Still discombobulated-is that how you spell it?

I have yet to fully feel at home on base here. It is still weird. I can't seem to figure out the weekly schedule and never know what is going on. The DTS leaves in a week, so things should be less crazy then when I will only live with 30 girls instead of 50.

I started working in the kitchen and I am no Emeril yet. I thought I would get to learn how to cool properly but so far it seems everyone just does what they think is best. I asked how to chop something and was told to just go for it. I know how to chop, but I wanted to learn some cool chef way. Maybe I will have to check the internet. I know how to follow instructions in the kitchen but I am hoping to come away from this experience knowing how to freestyle a bit. No matter what, it seems like I will come away with dishpan hands. The kitchen schedule is pretty laid back and there is lots of opportunity to talk with the other people who work in the kitchen. It's also nice to not have so much responsibility all the time. And it doesn't take much brain power to do the dishes.

I have not been a good communicator lately and I hate that. I have had a hard time returning people's phone calls, which is something I normally pride myself at being good at. The main problem is that my cell phone only works on my bed so I can't bring it anywhere else to talk or even just answer the phone. This won't be the case when I am back in Paia, so I just need to be patient for the next month.

Right now I need to go make the millionth effort to clean my room. It seems I am fighting a never-ending battle.

A Sad day for Longhorn fans

So, today I got to watch my first Longhorn football game of the year and it was a sad, sad event. We lost our second game in a row and this was to A&M. How humiliating! Before I came back to the country, we had only lost to Ohio State, who have one of the best teams in the country. Apparently I am bad luck. Oh well, I think I am going to buy the DVD of the Longhorns' championship win last year. I can watch it when I need to relive the glory days.

I am currently on the big island of Hawaii, where I am spending my Thanksgiving break. My cousin and his family moved here a few months ago and generously paid for me to come out here. Unfortunately I am still trying to process the last crazy six months of my life so I haven't been the most enjoyable house guest. Yesterday I pretty much watched tv all day. It was pretty nice. I get my own room here, which is an awesome change from my room on base with eight roommates. That place doesn't feel like home yet, which is hard.

It seems pretty likely that I will move in with a friend in Paia after I come back from my Christmas break. In order to do that, I will need transportation to and from the base. I am considering a scooter for a couple reasons: the comical factor, high gas mileage and no obligation to take others along. I want to be nice but now that our base is isolated, people with cars get exploited. Riding behind me on the scooter is by nature, only for the closest companions. I am talking with a guy about buying one on Sunday when I get back. I will keep you posted. I know you will all be desperate to see pics of me on a scooter. I am sure it will be sweet!

Chaos like you couldn't believe

My life is hectic to say the least right now. I am torn between hanging out with my students, my staff friends, and being by myself. And on top of that, two of my favorite people- Sarah and John McGregor are in town. I have not had much time to see them but they seem to be enjoying all Maui has to offer. This week has been filled with meetings, trying to spend as much time as possible with my students and lots of different events. The time is flying by quickly but I have not had enough time to talk to all the people from home that I want to. It will get easier once the students leave. Most of them will be gone by tonight and a few leave tomorrow night. Tomorrow we have a debriefing meeting all day.

Being so busy is annoying but my big problem right now is that my living situation stinks. Our new base is good for students who live here for 3 months but for staff who live here year-round, it is very difficult. Living in a single-family sized home with 40 people means very little privacy. We are also very isolated instead of located in a town. I am sure I will be less frustrated when I find somewhere to put all my stuff.

I am fairly sure that I will move off base to the town we used to live in. An ex-Ywamer needs a roommate and will only charge me a little bit more than I have to pay now. It is an awesome set-up but I will need to get some transportation. I am considering a scooter after my Ford fiasco. We'll see.

Onto better topics, last night was graduation. It was so good! I totally bawled. After all the crazy incidents and hard work, they actually made it. So amazing! I cried the most for Kelli. She is my girl from Louisiana with the crazy testimony. This graduation was the first time she had ever graduated anything in her life. It was so special. After grad, me and Matt and the Nepal leaders-Ashley and Josh hung out on the beach together basking in our lack of responsibility. I am going to miss my students a lot but I won't miss being responsible for them.

Back in the States!

I made it! I am back in the United States. My time in Bangladesh was good, but hard. I learned so much but I am feeling pretty tired and burned out. Our base moved to another town while we were away and Ashley (the leader of the Nepal team) and I are having a pretty hard time adjusting. This change along with the stress of being responsible for others for so long and jet lag has made us pretty weepy today. I have yet to cry but I have come close and the tears probably will fall soon.

The new base is pretty cool but far away from everything. I am contemplating getting a scooter. We'll see. I am a bit wary after my Ford fiasco.

I want to leave you with a funny/scary story-
My Ywam best friend, Amy was with my team for the last two weeks of outreach. It was nice to have her around and she and her team flew to Thailand with us. Amy and I got to hang out the night before we left in Thailand and it was good times with a binging session at Pizza Hut. She gave me a bag of stuff to take back to Maui for her. It was mainly clothes and gifts for her family. I didn't even see what she packed.

So, I was going through the security checkpoint at the Japan airport and I got stopped. This was nothing new especially since I was more than frisked by a female security guard in Dhaka. The security guard in Japan, opened my bag and took out some spoons that he thought were setting off the detector. He sent it back through and it still went off. He dug further into the bag and pulled out something wrapped in newspaper. It looked like a knife and when he pulled off the paper, I saw that it was some dagger-type device from Nepal. My face turned bright red and I started freaking out internally. Then five security guards appeared and all spoke in Japanese. They measured the knife as I feared the worst. I had no idea if you can be punished for such things as this in Japan. In Tapei, there is a big sign that says Drug Traffickers will be punished by death. So, these Japanese security guards continue to gather info on me. They got my passport, boarding pass and pertinent info. The whole process was an excruciating 30 minutes of uncertainty. It ended with them checking the knife so I could pick it up in Honolulu. So crazy. I was willing to leave the knife. It is funny now but it would not have been if I had missed my plane.

It's not over yet

Tomorrow we are going back to Gazipur but this time it is to meet with the students of the Windows DTS. This is a DTS being held here in Bangladesh. About half the students are Bangladeshi and half from places like Fiji and Papua New Guinea. We spent some time with them before they left for outreach. My friend, Lindsay led the team that went to Sri Lanka but unfortunately she has had to stay in Sri Lanka to help her student who lost his passport. I am bummed that I will not get to see her.

Anyway, we will be staying at some sort of compound and have prayer and fellowship with these Windows DTS students. It should be good. Some of my students are whining about having to go. I think they would be happiest if they were allowed to sit and watch movies at our house until it was time to leave. I pray that they will realize how little time we have left and how they can watch movies at home.

Unfortunately Kera is still in the hospital. We are hoping she will get out tomorrow but we have no guarantees. Luckily the nice New Zealand couple we are staying with is going to stay with her and nurse her back to health so that the whole team can go to Gazipur. Please pray for her to get better. She was looking forward to Maui so much and I would hate for her to still be sick when she is back there for a week.

I still can't believe how soon I will be on the mainland. I have much to look forward to. Sarah and John McG come and visit soon after I get back. Then, I get to go spend Thanksgiving with my cousin and his family on the Big Island. Then I will be in Texas for three weeks at Christmas. I am so excited about all of this but I am trying hard to be "all here" as I spend my last few days in Bangladesh.

Short Update

I don't have much time to write but I wanted to give a brief update. Everyone on the team is well except for Kera, who had to spend the night in the hospital. She has good ole' Dengue fever. Everyone's symptoms have been different in severity. Kera has had a lot of vomitting, which has made her feel terrible. Rachel has been with her at the hospital, which is a role reversal after Kera helped Rachel in the hospital. Please pray that Kera will get better and be able to enjoy her last days in Bangladesh.

We finished our ministry with Prodip, the pastor we've been helping. WE were treated to a great dinner by a family from the church. It was good but they kinda shoved the food in our faces. I don't like noodles so Kelli ate my third and fourth helpings and I ate her share of these flaky white sugar block things. My stomach did not appreciate it much. They also gave us bracelets that were far too small for our fat American hands. They had to cram them on and I fear mine may never come off.

We don't know exactly what we'll do for the rest of the week. We are supposed to meet up with the DTS going on here and maybe go to the amusement park. We'll see. I will be back in Maui in a week! YAY!

I am alive

I can't believe how long it has been since I wrote in my blog. I am slipping technologically. So sad. I cannot believe I only have a little over a week until I get back to the United States. Technically we leave the Bang (Bangladesh) on November 10th and stay in the Bang (Bangkok, Thailand) overnight and then arrive in Maui on November 11th. I am hoping this will be in time for me to watch some college football. However, I might be too busy relishing in my reunion with all my long-lost belongings, wardrobe and friends. I can't wait to wear regular clothes and to go to the beach and get rid of my Bangladesh paleness.

The last couple weeks have been intense as both Matt and I were struck down with Dengue Fever. Most of our students got it as well and it is no fun at all. The main symptoms include: a rash, itchiness, high fevers, headache, nausea, vomiting, diareah (no one really knows how to spell that), muscle pain, fatigue, sleeplessness and probably some I cannot remember. Now I am well but still feeling weak. We only have two more official ministry days left so I am just going to push through my fatigue.

You may heard about all the political unrest here. I watched it on the news and it seemed far worse than what we actually experienced. We basically restricted ourselves to a safe part of the city and rode it out. Now, things are more stable and the rioting seems to have stopped. I know some people were worried but we were never in danger.

I want to publically apologize for being a slack friend while in Bangladesh. Several quality people had birthdays that I did not even acknowledge remembering. Know that I prayed for all of you on your big days. Here are those I remembered: In August- John McG and David Ray, September- Lindsay Ray and Thama McG, October- Erin Morrow, Emily Ray and Sarah McG. So, know that you are loved and remembered.

b-days

Hard times

Things are not too easy here right now. Rachel, one of my students, is in the hospital and so is my co-leader, Matt. They have both had high fevers, muscle pains and delerium. It has been intense. The doctors think they have Dengue fever.

Unfortunately they are in different hospitals so I have been going back and forth a lot. I currently feel sick as well but I don't think it is Dengue fever. I think my haried schedule and lack of sleep has caused my sinus infection to come back. This just complicates matters. Please pray that we will get better and that Rachel and Matt can come home from the hospital.

I don't like being the only leader. Seeing Matt in the hospital brought tears to my eyes. He is a big tough man and it is so hard to see him weak. My healthy students have been a big help.

Glorious guests and glorious rests

We have guests from Maui with us right now. They are Maria, who is my boss-type person and her best friend, Holly. It has been so good for me to have them here. I am definitely emotionally exhausted. Having older but not too old, Christian women that I know here to talk to and process with has given me a feeling of relief.

Kelli has another infection and had to stay overnight in the hospital. It would have been so much harder without Maria and Holly here. I am sick with a sinus infection. Fortunately I feel a lot better than I sound. I sound like a frog going through puberty. I also have one of those coughs that startle people. I had been feeling slightly sick for almost a month and I think it was becuase my head was filling up with all the stuff I am blowing out and coughing up. That's enough bodily function talk, but I think once I am over this I will be better than I was before. The best part of the voice malfunction is that I won't be able to teach English. I like doing it but the other day I had to teach three classes with no lesson plans and one was after one minute's notice. I need an English teaching break.

Maria and Holly are treating me to a night at the Sheraton Hotel. It is very fancy and does not feel like Bangladesh. It is so nice to get away from my responsibilities for a little while. My brother left for Iraq but I haven't had much time to think about it. That is probably a good and a bad thing. Please pray for his wife. I fear I will get rambly if I continue so I am out.

Continue to pray for Kelli whose bilological mom died and Rachel whose cousin died last week.

Who needs personal space?

I just want to give you guys a glimpse into my Bangladesh life. Lately we do ministry in a town outside Dhaka. This means a bus ride that can last from half an hour to 3 hours depending on a variety of factors.

The daily bus rides are sometimes a welcome chance for me to relax and just think without having to be very responsible. Other days they are quite hellish and sometimes like today, you simply have to laugh.

In the mornings, the bus is late or crowded and often both. Today was no exception. My team crammed into every last inch of space on the bus. This is quite awkward with narrow aisles and cultural taboos about male/female contact. There two employees on the bus are the driver and a guy I like to call "the banger." The banger literally hangs halfway outside the bus and taps on the side of the bus to alert the driver when he is about to hit another bus, a random beggar or meandering water buffalo. (Those are all true sights here, even the water buffalo.) Today our banger failed and our bus sideswiped another bus. This resulted in our banger punching the driver of the other bus in the face. The crazy thing is that these buses are so battered that I would be shocked if anyone could see any new scrapes or scratches.

Back to the overcrowding- The bus today was hot, as usual and standing cheek to cheek (not talking about our faces) with a random petite Bangladeshi guy doesn't help the awkward factor. No one usually gets off until about ten minutes into the ride. Then all the fun begins! The aisle is about 3 feet wide so getting out of a departing passenger's way usually involves being in another passenger's lap for a few minutes. It is not as cool as it sounds. Then if you are lucky, within the first half hour, a seat will open up. Then, you get to be the one with someone on your lap. Today it was an unusually large Bangladeshi lady for me. I was reading a book but had to stop when her girth enveloped my entire lap. That was a fun five minutes as my students laughed at my predicament. At the same time the little Bangladeshi guy next to me kept doing the falling asleep head bob almost on my shoulder. This also provided a good show for the students seated behind me.

Instead of being annoyed and frustrated today, I chose to laugh. This made it so much better. Laughing is the correct response anyway when you have a large foreign lady all up in your personal space. These are the things I will miss when I am back in America.