Elastic Basket for my Peaches

I also have a website: www.lizhightower.com

Friday, March 31, 2006

Graveyard pick-up lines

Today was a first for me. A guy tried to pick me up in a graveyard. Here's what went down: As you have rightfully assumed, it was hilarious.

I am now car-less after returning the car I had been blessed with for most of my time here. I decided to go to the cemetary by my house to take pictures. Cemetaries can make for some cool pics and this cemetary is old and gigantic. I walked around reading grave stones and taking pics. This guy in a white Explorer stops me and asks if I know where Howard Hughes' grave is. (He is buried in the cemetary.) I tried my best to explain it to him but the cemetary is like a giant maze. He drives off and I go back to my pensiveness and photography.

Then when I am in another part of the cemetary, he rolls up again. I tried to head in the other direction, but he calls out to me. I go over to his car and he introduces himself as Smiley. I immediately notice that his name is tattooed on his arm. How lovely. He tells me that the Howard Hughes question earlier was just his excuse to talk to me. He used to work at the cemetary until he got fired. He says he is in the military now and stationed at Ellington Field. He makes me hold his puppy, Tiny. He tells me that he thinks I am cute and beautiful so he had to talk to me.

The man is clearly near-sighted as I am wearing a baggy shirt and work out shorts, I am sweaty and have a serious case of cloud hair frizz. He has a strange definition is beautiful. I usually use these types of situations as a chance to lie but this time I gave it to him straight. I told him I was going back to Hawaii and would not have time to get together with him. I did not mention the part about not being interested in someone with Smiley tattooed on his arm. We shook hands and I walked home, constantly looking over my shoulder to see if Tiny and Smiley were following me. Pretty funny! Who tries to pick up a girl in a graveyard. So romantic!

This is my second funny experience in this particular graveyard. The first was right before I went to Maui the first time. My dad convinced me, Emily and Sarah Morgan to go on a walk through the cemetary at night. The place was closed but we didn't think that was a big deal since we were just going for a walk. We walked deep into the cemetary for about twenty minutes before we noticed headlights in the distance. Then came a big spotlight that began searching the woods. We realized they were after us and that we were technically trespassing.

My dad started freaking out about how he is lawyer and that trespassing would look really bad. So, we decided to try to sneak out of the cemetary without getting caught. We crouched behind gravestones and traveled in the shadows. Emily was not dressed for the ocassion, wearing bright white pants. She was running, crouched down with her gleaming white butt waggling in the air. It was quite a sight. At one point we lost Sarah Morgan. I wasn't worried, though, because she is the most competant person I know. We finally all made it back to the entrance and ran out. Moments later, we looked back to see police cars at the entrance of the cemetary. We had narrowly escaped.

What a sight it must have been to see four adults: a lawyer and three teachers: one with white pants running like guerilla soldiers through the darkened cemetary. What an adventure!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oooh, how very Sound of Music (the ending--yes, I'm a dork) of you!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...