Confessions of a slacker

This is kind of a fake post. I just want to apologize to all three people who may still read my blog. I like the idea of writing fun and witty things on a regular basis but I tend to procrastinate. I even have a good idea for an entry right now but I just don't have the energy to undertake it this second. So, I will try to begin writing more again but I am not going to make any promises. With Young Life, grad school and work, it's easy to forget about the blog. Even so, I am going to try to start this thing up again.

On a side note, I am really enjoying this CD, Chasing Someday by Drew Holcomb. He and his wife came to our Young Life leader retreat and they are cool people with big hearts. They volunteer some with Young Life including with the special needs kids ministry. One of their songs was featured in the TV show, Parenthood and it's pretty cool. By the way, "Parenthood" is a pretty cool show too.

You know you’re in Asia when….

1.       You get really excited to see an MB (mole beard). It’s when someone has a mole on their face with oddly thick, long hair growing out of it. It’s like a cross between a mole and a beard. You get extra points if it’s a lady mole beard.

2.       You also get really excited when you go into a restroom and find a) a Western toilet, b) toilet paper and c) soap. KFC and McDonald’s are the best bet for these.

3.       You find yourself haggling in order to get a lower price on an already $2 item.

4.       You avoid looking at other foreigners.

5.       You let strangers take your picture.

6.       You don’t get that freaked out when a saleswoman touches your eyelashes.

7.       You think McDonald’s is too expensive.

8.       You meet people with names like Coco, Candy, South Fly, Big Bear, Biff, Gold and Magic.

9.       One Starbucks drink is the same price as a pair of shoes.

10.   You can buy tiger paws on the street as well as seahorses, snakes and Gucci handbags.

First Week in Asia

I have been here in Asia for one week now. We have gotten back in the swing of things very quickly. The first day we arrived, we met with my old friend, Marcia and we've met with several friends since. The team here is nice but a bit shy. I am trying to get them to engage more with the people. So far, I have taught an English corner, attended an English corner, attended a study and met people to invite to these events. I also got a friend to take me shopping for some killer purple paint-splattered Ray Bans. One really fun thing has been to talk with the people who I knew from before but had joined our club in the year since I have been here last. The change in them is awesome and a true testament to the big guy's power. Now if Marcia would just believe...

Despite our success so far, Shannon and I have already had a set-back. On Friday morning, we were heading to the team's apartment for some singing to the big guy. We decided to ride a bike with me on the front and Shannon on the back. The sidewalk was very crowded where we were riding. A man on a motorbike came very close to us as he tried to squeeze between me and a walker. On the other side was a kid and in my attempt to miss the motorbike, I bumped the kid. During all of this, Shannon's foot got caught in the bike's wheel. It was not good. She fell over and started crying and her shoe stayed wedged in the bike. I have never been great at a quick response in crisis. I just stared, shocked. A very nice older lady took Shannon's shoe out of the bike and told us with gestures to go to the nearby pharmacy. The pharmacies here don't require prescriptions. 

When we got there, another lady who'd been at the accident scene was there and explained what had happened. They sold us some Asian medicine stuff that looked like a small bottle of perfume and smelled like strong mouthwash. I guess it couldn't hurt. We've been putting this stuff on Shannon and letting her rest. Yesterday was the first day she really went out since the accident. She is still a bit sore but getting around okay. Please lift her up since we walk here all the time. We'd also like to play some basketball. 

Young Life Camp- Frontier Ranch

It's been a crazy month! June 4- June 12 I went to Frontier Ranch in Buena Vista, Colorado as a leader for my Young Life kids. I think this was my sixth time to go as a leader but it's always fun. I've been to four different Young Life camps but I think Frontier is my favorite. We brought about 45 kids from our urban high school and about the same amount from the other urban school in our area. Some of the kids have never left Houston so it's a treat to watch them see new things. It was also even more fun for me this year because my friend, Shannon came along as a leader. She hadn't had any experience with Young Life and had never been to camp or Colorado so it was all new to her too.

We were in a cabin with Freshman and Sophomore girls and they were pretty crazy. They were good at having fun but not so good at being serious. It was great to get to know them better, regardless. One thing that really struck me when they were serious was how much they'd been hurt by their parents. The people who were supposed to protect them had instead caused them so much pain. I am looking forward to being a positive adult presence in their lives and help them to understand how much God loves them.

 Some of our cabin at the rodeo

 Me and Shannon with some of the girls who pied us

 Having fun at Western Night

 Resting after our hike

Most of the kids we took to camp

Testing

I have been working at my old school as an hourly teacher. In this position, I have done a variety of jobs including tutoring struggling students, substituting and monitoring for standardized tests. My least favorite task is monitoring standardized tests because it's just so dull. As a monitor for these tests, you are supposed to read the directions to the kids and make sure they aren't cheating. You also give them pencils and kleenex as needed. I've been testing one to six kids during these all-day tests. One kid is the worst because you really just sit there since you can't assist them with any answers and they definitely aren't cheating.

Last week I had to one-on-one test a boy I will call "Daniel." Daniel is a third grader in special ed. so I had to read the entire test to him. This was complicated by the fact that in addition to being a very sweet little boy, he has the attention span of a goldfish. The mornings weren't as bad as Daniel was very sleepy. I kept him awake by gently poking him with the eraser end of my pencil. I even let him take a little nap. After lunch, Daniel was far more alert. This turned out to be unfortunate. His mind wandered so often that I started writing down his comments.

Here is a transcript. Keep in mind that this was during a Math test and then a Science test I was reading aloud to him.
-I don't like peanut butter.
-Do you have a dog?
-Can I take a nap? (He'd already taken a nap that morning with me.)
-Can I play a game?
-I like to make noises.
-I have a bruise. Can I go see the nurse?
-I didn't know flying squirrels were real.
-When can I go back to class?
-I saw Mr. J go by. Can I say, hi?
-I want to go home already but I can't.
-Now can I go to the nurse?
-Mr. C has a toy microscope.
-How many pages do we have left?
-These are the last pages. I am going to read them inside my head. (Finishes six questions in 30 seconds).
-Ok, I pick this flashlight. (Not an answer choice).
-You know you want it!
-Do you want ice cream?
(Makes grunting noises) -That means, Ok
-Want a tweetie bird?
-Want an owl?
-You want ice cream?
-My legs are sleepy.
-If I don't know the answer, I just guess right?
-Is that Mr. C? Can I go check it out?
-My hand is back awake now.
-How many more questions?

His inattention was almost fascinating and would have been a lot more humorous if I wasn't trying to get him to finish his tests. In the end, the day certainly wasn't as boring as some testing days have been.

The Tina Fey Theory

I recently finished reading Bossypants by Tina Fey. It's safe to say that I LOVED this book! It was exceedingly hilarious and really fun to read. Reading this book reminded me of a theory I have about men, which I am henceforth calling, "The Tina Fey theory."

Tina Fey is undoubtedly talented and hilarious. She's been very successful at what she does so I am clearly not the only one who feels this way about her. She is not an unattractive woman but also not incredibly beautiful. I think she is average, verging on pretty when she tries. I think of myself the same way. Don't get me wrong. I don't have some self esteem problem that leaves me believing I look like a troll. I think I am average to pretty depending on the day.

Back to my theory. If a guy thinks that Tina Fey is hot, then there is a good chance he is the kind of guy I want. What this says to me is that he values her personality and general hilarity and finds that it makes her beautiful. Now I am not claiming to be as funny as Tina Fey but I do believe my personality makes me more attractive. So, if you know a guy who thinks Tina Fey is hot, send him my way.

Suspicions Confirmed

This blog is long overdue but I figure it is never too late to share a funny story.

                Every weekend there are countless open houses in my neighborhood. My neighborhood is very interesting and eclectic. My parents and I like to go to different open houses on the weekends for free entertainment. It is also a chance to get decorating ideas.

                A few months ago we went to an open house put on by our former real estate agent. Her associate, David was manning the house. My dad recognized him as someone who had been at our old house for our open houses. My dad started talking to David, who didn’t recognize us despite the connection. My dad told him about how we’d bought another house that the real estate agent had been listing and he remembered our house.

                Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. The house next door is for sale. My parents don’t like the neighbors too much partly because their loud conversations on their porch filter right into my parents’ bedroom. My parents wanted to see the inside of their house but felt awkward going to an open house in case the neighbors were there. My roommate, Katie and I have never really met the neighbors so we decided we’d go to their open house so we could look around.

                When I got inside, I saw David, the real estate agent. I figured he wouldn’t recognize me because he didn’t recognize us last time and I was with Katie and not my parents. After I had only been in the house a few minutes, David said, “Haven’t I seen you somewhere?” I told him that I had seen him at another open house with my parents. I thought this was the end of it. A few minutes later, he said, “Don’t you live next door?” I was caught. I sheepishly fessed up. He was nice and said that often neighbors come to open houses and up telling their friends who are looking for houses.

                Katie and I explored the house. As we were looking around upstairs, I got a great idea. My bathroom window looks out at the neighbors’ house. I’ve always been concerned about how much they can see as I take a shower. I called my mom and said, “Mom, can you go stand in my shower?” She immediately replied, “Okay.” She didn’t even wait for an explanation. As Katie and I looked out the neighbors’ window, all of sudden, my mom’s face appeared. Weird. We could really only see her head and shoulders until she pantomimed washing her hair. If she’d been naked, we’d have totally seen her chest. Eek! My suspicions were confirmed. I need to get a cover for that window or start charging my neighbors for the show.

                When we went back downstairs, real estate agent David asked us why we were laughing and we told him about our experiment. We started talking about how Katie wants to buy a house and it turns out he has a lot of experience in the area she’s thinking about. He was very nice and knowledgeable. Looks like Katie found her real estate agent. The next step is to find a house. Overall it was a fun afternoon at the neighbors’.