Kids

Right now I work/volunteer with children of various ages. I am about to start a new chapter in my life where I will no longer be around kids frequently. This has caused me to think about my involvement with them a little bit.

For the past two years, I taught at a school with low-income kids. I did this on purpose. I didn't want to teach rich kids for a variety of reasons. The main reason being that their parents tend to be overbearing and too involved. As a teacher, this can be intimidating and stressful. I also think wealthier kids often have many people in their life to care for them while many lower income kids have single parent families or parents who have two or three jobs to make ends meet. These kids need positive adult role models in their lives.

Despite all my reasons for wanting to teach low income students, I have decided that if I come back to teaching one day, I would prefer not to be at a low-income school. This may sound strange given my heart for these kids, but I found a lot of things about teaching at a low-income school to be very frustrating.

Low-income schools are expected to achieve the same passing rate on standardized tests as their higher income peers. This is fairly unrealistic given the struggles these kids face and the home environments they come from. I had kids whose siblings were in jail, dads were in jail or even moms were in jail. One kid's older brother told him a story about being involved in a high speed chase with the cops and having to decide if he wanted to live or die. Who tells this to an 8 year old? Some of the mothers of kids in my class were 14 or 15 when they had them. Some of the kids have been taking away from their families by CPS. Most live in single parent households and several live with relatives other than their parents. Some have been abused emotionally, physically and sexually. They've had some pretty rough things happen to them in their short lives.

All this is what made me want to work with them in the first place; to love them and take care of them in a way they deserve. Unfortunately, being a teacher didn't let me help them the way I would of liked. It may have just been my particular school but I have a feeling that it is a problem in a lot of low income schools. There is so much pressure to get them to pass the tests, that their feelings and emotional well-being are not taken into account. I felt like I had all these hurting kids but I couldn't do much about it since I had to spend so much time cramming for a test. Our school doesn't have a counselor who they can talk about their problems with. It's really a shame. If I go back to teaching, I've thought about becoming a counselor. Then I could help these hurting kids instead of cramming them for a test.

With Young Life I was able to be more of a counselor/mentor/friend to my high school students. I could listen to their problems and try to help them through situations that were achingly similar to those experienced by my third graders. I loved being able to be there for them in the hard times and I wish I could have done as much for the kids in my class. I hope they knew how much I cared.

Support Raising

I have recently started support-raising for a few upcoming missionary projects. For those of you not familiar with the lingo, support raising in this context is when you ask people for money to help fund your missionary work. It's an interesting concept in this American culture where everyone is conditioned from birth to have the desire to get a job and work hard and make as much money as you can. Support raising doesn't really fit with that way of thinking.

When I first start a support raising campaign for a particular project, I am filled with self-doubt. Is this really what God's called me to? Who should I send letters to and who will feel like I am annoying them or begging them? Will I be able to raise what I need? The funny part is that God has been extremely faithful to me in the past. I would estimate that I have probably raised about $25,000 for all the missionary work I've done in the past. And yet, despite the amount of money I've raised and the amount of times I've done this, the old doubt comes back.

This time, I am struggling a bit with the whole idea of leaving everything behind that I have built these last two years in Houston. I am going to miss my friends, family, students and the Young Life kids I mentor. These feelings combined with anxiety about support raising cause me to doubt what God's called me to. As of Friday, I'd only raised about $300 towards the almost $6000 I need. That afternoon, I went to the mailbox and the only thing I saw was what looked like one of those checks that credit card companies send you to try to trick you into becoming part of their identity theft program. I opened it up just to see what scam they were running this time. To my surprise it was actually a check for $1000 from some friends of mine. I was shocked. I actually jumped up and down. This little boost of confidence went a long way in assuaging some of my self-doubt. It felt like proof I was on the right track. All of this made me really think about support raising in general.

When I was teaching, I really enjoyed having a steady paycheck. There is a certain feeling of security afforded to one through a paycheck. Living on support does not provide that feeling of security. This is both a good and bad byproduct. It's bad because it is hard to plan things in advance or feel justified in buying things that are not simply daily necessities despite their overall usefulness to yourself or your mission. It is good because it is a tangible way to experience God's provision. You have to rely on God to supply what you need. This can be scary but also liberating.

One less obvious benefit to support raising is the bond created between supporter and suportee. I have found that people give for two main reasons. They either support you as a person or they support what you are doing.

I sent out support letters recently. My aunt gave me some money towards my projects. When I asked her if she had read about my mission trip this summer, she looked at me blankly and said she hadn't even read my letter. This is clearly an example of someone who supports me more for who I am than for what I am doing. This implies a level of confidence in me and my decisions that I find humbling. These are the kind of people who will stand by me and support me no matter what I do.

Another kind of supporter I have found is one who wants to support my particular cause more than they want to support me personally. My best example of this is when my mom's friend from work became a monthly supporter when I was working with YWAM full-time. I had never met this woman and yet she wanted to support me for a significant amount monthly. I think that is just so amazing! Since I have been out of the missionary field for the last two years, I have gotten to give financially to my friends who are still missionaries. It has been really fun to have money to give away. But, I do enjoy giving the money partly because it is to people I know and have worked with. It seems to me that giving to someone you don't even know is a much bigger deal and takes more faith in God.

Most supporters fall somewhere in between the two categories mentioned above. They are both supporting me and my cause. I love the connection I feel between my supporters and myself. If your money is where your heart is, than I know that I am near and dear to their hearts. They pray for me and I pray for them. It really is something special.

There are some missionary organizations that pay their missionaries. Sometimes this seems preferable as far as having a feeling of financial security. No one in YWAM is paid including the founder, who has been able to teach and preach in every country of the world while living on support. In the end, I am thankful for this policy and wouldn't want it any other way. I have learned so much from living on support. Never once has God failed to give me more than enough for what he has called me to. In fact, he usually directs people to give me more than enough so that I can tithe what I get to other missionaries around me. I consider it a huge privilege to represent my God and my supporters in my missionary work.

On a bus

I am about two and a half hours away from Houston. I've been on one of those big charter buses with about 50 high school students for about 19 hours so far. Luckily I have been blessed with the ability to sleep for far longer than the average human on these bus rides.

I've been riding on these type of buses for long distances since high school. I've come up with some coping methods along the way. Seat claiming is crucial. When I was in high school, we'd try to sit near the back as far away from the adults as possible. The back of the bus has the unfortunate consequence of being near the bathroom. This can be a serious problem depending on the bowels of the bus's occupants. Now that I am the adult, I try to sit towards the front of the bus to avoid the dreaded bathroom smell as well as the inevitable noisiness of high schoolers.

I must have a window seat. This is crucial for sleeping as you need something to lean your head on. I usually try to run onto the bus as soon as I can and claim my seat using a pillow (a crucial piece of equipment for bus sleeping.)The more you sleep, the shorter the bus ride feels. This the key to surviving one of these rides. Some people will sleep on the bus floor. I used to be willing to do this but I have seen too many weird things spilled on the bus and I am afraid of getting stepped on.

To survive a long bus ride, I also do everything in my power to not use the aforementioned bus bathroom. This usually involves being slightly dehydrated for the duration of the trip; something I consider a small price to pay for not going to the restroom on the bus.I hate having navigate the maze of bodies sprawled in the aisle. I hate the bathroom smell and, god forbid, I had to poop, the idea of the whole bus smellling it. Ick!

I don't know if this post was coherent or grammatically correct. Please cut me some slack, I am still on a bus.

Times to Cry and Times to Laugh

I have officially moved into my parents' new place. I still have a few small things at my old house but the bulk of my possessions are here now. It feels very surreal especially since my parents' new house is nothing short of incredible. They don't get their stuff moved in until Tuesday so for now, it's a little like I am living here alone. Picture Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. If this were a YWAM house in Maui, I could realistically fit about 200+ people here using a lot of bunk beds. I did once live with 11 other girls in a room the size of this new house's kitchen.

There is so much change going on right now that I can't deal with it all at once. My last day at school (without the kids) was on Friday and that doesn't even seem real yet. The other third grade teachers wrote me a nice card and gave me a little engraved notebook since I am always writing notes to myself on my hand. It was very thoughtful. The last day of school for teachers always involves a lot of cleaning and accounting for things you've been given throughout the year. It is a huge pain. Most teachers try to do as much of the closing out stuff as possible during the last week of school. I did some stuff but was hindered by an extreme case of procrastination coupled with denial about leaving. Lucky for me, I have made some great friends at school this year. After all their tasks were done, four of my teacher friends helped me finish my duties. It meant a lot to me that they would stay at school longer than they had to on the last day of school.

After school, we performed our usual post-school ritual- Wingstop and then the movie theater. We had been hanging out after school about once a week and I am really going to miss that. This year was much better than last year and I think having close friends at work made a big difference.

For my whole life, I have loved having groups of friends: Quiet Spring Lane friends, church youth group friends, high school friends, college friends, Wesley friends, Camp Cho-Yeh friends, Young Life friends, work friends, etc. I consider myself blessed to have a lot of quality friends but life changes have made them disperse throughout the U.S. and Canada. This makes it hard to hang out with them all at the same time. So, I really enjoyed having a fun group of friends at work. This is one change that is starting to sink in and I am not a fan of it.

Another change I don't think I have fully dealt with is my brother leaving for Iraq. It's hard to know how to feel or how to deal with it. It won't be over for a year so being upset or worrying excessively is not a healthy option. Right now I am using a combination of prayer and denial to get through it. When he gets to his final locale, I should be able to write him. That might make me feel more proactive about the situation.

As for good changes, my parents' new house is awesome and I am looking forward to going back to Maui to do the SBFM school. I anticipate learning a lot and enjoying times with old and new friends. I am trying to focus on these good changes and appropriately deal with the not-so-good ones.

A Last Day of School Full of Laughter

Today was my last day as a teacher...at least for a while. It's kind of surreal right now. It turned out to be a really fun day. I think I might get a little sad about it if I really start thinking about not seeing my students again. I am not at that point yet.

Today was the annual teacher talent show. In the past, the talent show has been an event where teachers could come out and show some sort of talent. Usually this talent involves some sort of choreographed lip sync to a song with some enthusiastic dancing. This takes some preparation. This year, my co-worker, Will and I were in charge. About a week and a half before the show, we tried to gauge the teacher's readiness and enthusiasm for the event. Based on the reactions we got, it was clear that no one was prepared for or excited about this year's event.

Based on years of Young Life and summer camp experience, I decided we should do some sort of skit extravaganza. I know a lot of really easy skits that don't need much practice. Will was in church youth group as a kid so he knew a few of his own. We decided to do three skits and then have three Young Life games that fit into a category I like to call "unwitting participant games." This means that the participants are given little or no prior notice that they will be in a skit.

I was afraid no one would volunteer to be in the skits but Will and I used a combination of guilt and encouragement to gather a decent representation of our school's teachers. We literally practiced all three skits in 30 minutes yesterday and hoped for the best today. And although I am admittedly biased, I thought it went really well. Judging from their positive comments, my co-workers agreed.

Will and I were the emcees and we didn't really prepare anything in advance and spoke off the cuff. I don't remember exactly what I said but I don't think I said anything inappropriate. The first skit was the doctor's office. A patient goes into the doctor's office and sits down in the waiting room. Then, another patient arrives with some sort of ailment. In this particular version, Ms. F scratched her butt every few seconds. The kids went wild! Then the first patient, Mr. B, starts scratching his butt too. After that, Ms. N came in and kept jerking her head to one side. Mr. B starts doing that in addition to coughing and scratching his butt. Then, Ms. V comes in and starts spontaneously dancing every few seconds. Mr. B starts coughing, scratching his butt, jerking his head and dancing every few seconds. It was pretty hilarious to me even though I knew what was coming. I actually laughed so hard that tears started rolling down my cheeks. The teachers did such a great job of hamming it up. Then Ms. S came in looking like she was pregnant and Mr. B runs offstage screaming.

After that we did the good ole' Young Life banana eating contest. We called three staff members up who didn't know what they were in for. We purposely picked people we thought would be good sports. We told them they were having a blindfolded banana eating contest. They started eating the bananas and then we took the blindfold off of two of the contestants. This left our vice principal blindfolded shoving bananas in her mouth as fast as she could...all alone onstage. I guess she realized she couldn't hear anyone else, because she started reaching around next to her. Then we pulled off her blindfold. She was a great sport about it all.

Then we had a skit about gum. One person is chewing gum and they put it under a park bench. Then other people come along and interact with the gum. One person gets it in their hair, another steps on it and then someone blows their nose and wipes it on it. In the end the first person comes back and eats the gum to the disgust and amusement of the audience.

After that we called up four teachers who we'd told in advance that they were going to play charades. We told the kids that the teachers were going to act out what the teachers did when they found out our school won the rank of Exemplary. We told the teachers to act out the following scenarios: seeing a UFO, throwing up, seeing a mouse and riding a roller coaster. They too did a great job hamming it up. The kids enjoyed it though I don't think they all got the joke.

Then we had the most popular skit. It's called Pass It Down. A couple goes on a date to the movies but the only two seats left are four people apart. They sit down at opposite ends. The boy, being a gentleman, tries to share his Junior Mints with his lady friend. But as they are being passed down, the other moviegoers partake in the candy with the last one dramatically finishing whatever's left before it gets to the girl. This happens again with the popcorn and the drink, which the last guy pours all over his face. The dating guy makes a last ditch effort and kisses the person next to him, asking them to pass it on. This is awkwardly passed down until the last guy who has eaten everything, kisses the girl on the date. She flips out and slaps him in the face, ending the skit. The teachers did such a great job on this one. The kids couldn't stop talking about it. Seeing my co-workers' funny creative sides makes me miss them more. Too bad the whole school year couldn't be that light-hearted.

The finale of the show was another unsuspecting teacher contest. We tried to choose the participants carefully but we were a bit nervous. I chose my friend, Erin believing she wouldn't get too mad at what was about to happen, but being willing to talk it out with her if she was. We told the teachers they were going to be in a blindfolded sit-up competition and we needed the most physically fit teachers. We blindfolded them and they began to do sit-ups. While they were doing sit-ups, they each got a surprise pie to the face. Nothing amuses kids more, or adults for that matter, than pies. It was hilarious. All the people that got pied were super good sports about it including my friend.

It was such a fun way to end the year. I really don't think it could have gone any better. I will miss some of these situations you only really get in as a teacher. How many other jobs have talent shows? Maybe I can start one at YWAM Maui. :)

Tour de Hood

Today I rode in a bizarre bike ride. It was the first annual Tour de Hood. It was started by a man who wants to promote bike riding and general exercise in a low-income primarily black area of town. I have been on about a dozen organized bike rides in my life. This one was very different. The website said it would start at 7am but it didn't start until after 8 am. Apparently part of the reason for this is because the founder was hit by a car last night as he was putting up the signs for the ride. He showed up with bloody knuckles and a big white bandage covering his entire head. It was hard to get mad at the guy for the late start.

On most of the rides I've been on, there's been mainly hard-core riders with all the gear. This ride only had about 25% hard-core riders and 75% novices. It was a strange combo. They even had bikes for people to borrow that did not have their own. The founder told everyone to please bring the bikes back. It sounded like they could just borrow them without any I.D. or deposit. Strange.

All these people together made for a strange ride. My dad was almost taken out by a ten year old boy on a light pink loaner bike. It was pretty funny. I am not sure where the kid's parents were. On most rides you all start together and then everyone rides at their own pace. On this ride, we kept having to stop so that people could catch up. This was annoying since I have clip on pedals that I have to clip out of to stop. We went about 8 miles in two hours. Normally I do about 12-14 miles an hour.

Another purpose of the ride was to learn about the history of the six wards (or areas) of inner-city Houston. We didn't get to hear too much since my dad and I quit after about 8 miles. It was too frustrating to start and stop and the ride seemed to be taking forever. We did get some really cool "Tour de Hood" t-shirts. The experience made me want to go on another organized ride- maybe one that was more orthodox.

After the ride, we visited my parents' good friend, Vic in the hospital. He had been in a bad biking accident. Apparently he fell in a hole at a construction site. He was briefly paralyzed but seems to be doing okay now. He's getting a bit stir-crazy in the hospital so pray for a quick release.

Contemplating Change

As usual, I should be doing school stuff on a Sunday night but I am not. I just spent a little time laying on my porch swing and contempleating all that's going on in my life. This is one of those times of change, where it seems like there is significant change in almost every area of my life. I don't think it's felt this intense since Spring/Summer 2003 when I broke up with a boyfriend, my parents moved out of my childhood home, my best friend got married, I graduated from college and left Austin and was getting ready to go to Maui for the first time.

The first big thing that has happened recently is my brother deploying to Iraq. This is his second time there but it's different now that he has a baby. It feels like there is more at stake. I haven't really dealt with my emotions about him being in Iraq for a year. I know I need to deal with them and I can feel them bubbling up inside me but I have been unable to let them out. I am running on denial right now, which I know is unhealthy in the long run but easier to deal with now. I'm trying to pray and remind myself that his life is in God's hands but even that is tinged with a large dose of denial. I know I will have to break down and have a good cry about it but right now it's like my emotions are clogged inside of me and not coming out yet.

The other big changes are impending. My parents are very close to owning an incredible house in the Heights. I mean, this place is just awesome! This is a change that does not bother me one bit. In fact, I am pretty excited about it. Their current home is the townhome they bought after moving out of my childhood home. I was never especially attached to it. In fact, my second parents growing up, the Harnlys, have sold their home and that feels far more traumatic than my parents current move. I went to the Harnlys today and despite knowing they'd sold their house, I felt my heart drop when I saw the SOLD sign in their front yard. So, I am excited about my parents move because the house is just awesome. I am pumped about living there this Summer.

I am moving out of my current house at the end of the month. You would barely know it if you came in my house since I have been a master procrastinator about packing. I have a feeling that most of it will be left until the last minute in my usual style. It's a bit overwhelming since I have to have my classroom cleaned and packed up by almost the exact same date. I haven't made that much progress in that department either. I feel somewhat relieved to be leaving my school with all its politics and drama but I will deeply miss my students and the friends I have grown close to there.

I am still planning to complete another YWAM school in Maui in the Fall though I don't know officially whether I have gotten in or not. The school runs from September through December. After that I plan on coming home for Christmas so my poor mom has at least one of her children. Then, my plans are a little less solid. This is starting to make me feel uneasy since I like to know what comes next. I am hoping to stay in Maui and work on the English teaching curriculum for the China project but I am not 100% sure that's what God has in store for me. I also have hopes of going to China for a year or more after Andrew gets back from Iraq but that doesn't feel for sure yet. It's like I have a feeling deep down that things will turn out very differently than the way I see them in my mind right now. And to be honest, despite an unwavering faith that God has good in store for me, my overall uncertainty about my future is quite scary. So, I know as I have had to do in other times of great change, I need to cling to God, the only thing in life that is guaranteed not to change, and ride this thing out.

Weird Week

***I have been lax in writing blog entries. This one was started a week ago and pertains to the last week in April. ***

This is a very strange week. Monday was fairly normal at school cramming the kids for the Math TAKS test the following day. Then that night it rained like it must have in the days of Noah. Young Life was canceled so luckily I didn't have to leave the house. The next morning, my roommate tells me that some schools were closed. It seemed pretty much every district other than mine was closed for severe flooding. It turns out both my friend, Ann's and my friend, Andres's houses got flooded. Please pray for them esp. Ann since she owns her home and does not have flood insurance.

Because of the crazy weather, our district postponed the Math TAKS test that was suppoed to be that day. It really threw us all off- kids and teachers. Then the school district announced that absences would not be counted that day for students or teachers. Now, why did I show up?

The real test happened that Wednesday and we didn't get out of school until 4pm even though our students were finished way before that. We just had to sit there.

On Thursday and Friday, the 4th and 5th graders were taking their TAKS tests. This meant the third graders who normally share their hallway, were banished to random other parts of the school. On Thursday, I had about 30 kids at the end of the Kindergarten hallway. Not ideal at all! We pretty much just watched movies. And we still had to stay at school an hour longer than usual. UGH!

On Friday, I had only my 20 kids in one of the computer labs. Again, another movie day. What was the point of even coming to school? Luckily the day was cut short by the faculty basketball game. I had been looking forward to this all week. I had fun like last year but I kept getting double and triple teamed. I guess they remembered my skills from last year. Some of the people definitely had no basketball experience. I tried to set a pick on one guy and he gave me a sweaty bear hug. Eww! Disgusting! I had practiced the day before at the gym but it was pointless since we played with a ball smaller than a women's ball and on an eight foot goal. Overall it was fun to get out and play. Good end to a crazy week.

free time doesn't feel so free

Normally on Monday nights I have a Bible study for Young Life. Tonight it was canceled and it's raining like the times of Noah and the great flood. So much for my idea of going to the gym to practice a little basketball for the big faculty game Friday. And now, I am left with unexpected free time. And there in lies my problem.

I have a little more than a month left of school. It feels pretty surreal. There is a lot that goes into checking out of my classroom at the end of the year. Right after school ends, I am moving out of my house and into my parents' house. Since I still have a month before both happen almost simultaneously, I really should start packing, cleaning and throwing away a little at a time. Unfortunately knowing what you should do and actually doing it are two completely different things. And I tend to be a bit of a procrastinator. I wrote almost all my college papers the night before and almost always pack late into the night before I go on a trip. I find it very hard to be productive when I have free time.

I pack a lot of scheduled activities in my week and get a lot done. I spend a good portion of the week at school, Young Life or hanging out with friends. But when I do have free time, I just can't bear to do anything terribly productive. In fact, yesterday was the first time I'd made a real trip to the grocery store since Spring Break. It's not that I don't have the free time, I do have some but I tend to use it more as a recovery from my otherwise busy schedule. Maybe if I scheduled "clean my room" or "go to the grocery store" at a specific date and time, I would do it. But then again knowing myself, I probably wouldn't.

I have a dream of writing books for children or humorous memoirs for adults someday. I don't see this happening until I find a way to gain better control of my free time. When given an expanse of unaccounted for time, large or small, I tend to spend most of it watching TV, taking naps, surfing the internet or reading books. None of these are particularly bad, but they definitely don't classify as being productive. I guess if I had some sort of "office" I went to for a predetermined amount of time to write, I could do it. That is presupposing that I could make a living writing which has yet to be proven. I did recently read that Dr. Seuess's first book was rejected by publishers 27 times. Dr. Suess is arguably one of the best loved and most prolific children's book writers in history. If he could go through all that rejection and not give up, the least I could do is give it a shot, right?

Scowling at construction workers

My street has been under construction for several months and it has been a huge hassle. For some reason, they find it necessary to begin work before 7am on Saturdays. This should clearly be illegal. They've also blocked off our street for months. Our trash has not been picked up in weeks because there is no place to put it where the garbage men can get to it. Annoying!

We used to have a little parking lot type thing at the front of our house. It could fit five cars and was a super convienent place to park. This was destroyed pretty much the first day of construction. They promptly deposited a seven foot mound of dirt in front of our house and various construction equipment that I couldn't name even if I tried. Our street has been closed and we've resorted to parking in the backyard of the abandoned house next door. It's pretty hillbilly and as the construction has moved further down our street, consuming more and more parking, m our make-shift parking lot has become more and more crowded.

This has angered the crazy bird lady who lives behind us. She uses this backyard to feed her beloved pigeons and seems to feel that our parking woes are less important than feeding what some people refer to as flying rats. When we first started parking back there, she wrote crazy handmade signs on old dinner plates or scraps of cardboard that proclaimed that there is to be no parking in the little concrete square where she feeds her feathered friends. I think she's given up for now given the large number of cars parked back there now. It is simply too crowded for the birds.

It's only recently become clear that our parking places have been permanently destroyed. They've finally poured the concrete on our street and I can see the telltale rebarb signs that there will be a large curb in front of our house instead of a parking pad. This is very inconvienent. Thankfully we will only be living here for a month and a half. Apparently we will be parking behind our neighbor's house for the rest of our time here. Ugh. I am not even sure that the street will be finished before we move out. This will make the whole process a lot more interesting. Oh well. There's not much I can do about it. I do try to give the construction workers dirty looks but it doesn't seem to be changing anything. I know it's not their faults but it makes me feel a little better.

I still exist

I have not blogged in a while. This is partly because I've been busy and partly because I'm lazy. Last weekend I felt like I was going nonstop. On Friday night, my teacher friends and I went out to eat and then watched "The Fast and the Furious." I saw an abnormal amount of people I know. I saw three of my Young Life kids from three years ago. I saw a fellow Young Life leader that I volunteer with now. Then, to top it all off, we saw two of my students when we were at the movie. I love my students but it's weird to see them outside of school. I was going to hide, but Helen yelled out their names so they came over for hugs even though I'd seen them only a few hours earlier.

On Saturday, I had good old Saturday tutorials in the morning. Yuck! Then at night I went to my roommates' sister's wedding. Since I live with two sisters, our place was wedding central: housing out of town guests and serving as site of fancy brunches. My roommate, Sarah made the wedding cake at our house so I suppose bakery would be an apt title as well. At the wedding, reception I was in charge of running the cotton candy machine. Despite my very long list of jobs I've done in a wedding, running a cotton candy machine was something I'd never done. I love doing things I've never done before! It was harder than I expected. I have a new respect for carnies now.

I helped clean up after the wedding until 11pm and woke up at 6pm to ride my bike 64 miles the next morning. The ride was sponsored by McDonald's so we were sent on our way by a man in a Ronald McDonald costume. We were told that Hamburgler and Grimace would be there but I didn't see them. What a letdown!

After the ride, I went to my best friend, Sarah's to get cleaned up and hang out. Then I had to go give a speech at my church about mission work.

Overall my weekend felt pretty packed but it was fun. I tend to prefer being busy over not having enough to do. If I have too much freetime, I always seem to waste it.

Kera's Wedding Part 1

Blog- Kera’s Wedding
This weekend I went to Colorado to my friend, Kera’s wedding. Kera was one of the girls I led to on our team to Bangladesh in 2006. Her wedding was on a Friday so I had to ask off work for that Thursday and Friday- not an easy task but I was permitted to miss school. I flew out early on Thursday morning towards Denver. The weather report said it would be cold but I really wasn’t prepared for frigid conditions. When the plane landed, the man next to me opened his window to reveal a snow-covered landscape. I opened my mouth in shock. I had no idea there would be snow at the end of March. Isn’t that supposed to be springtime?

It turns out that the worst blizzard they had seen all year was developing as I sat on that plane. Due to the severe weather conditions, Kera and her fiancé, Steve, were a bit late picking me up. Conditions just seemed to worsen as we drove towards Kera’s apartment. Also as it was the day before their wedding, Kera and Steve received a phone call just about every three minutes on that drive home.

The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner scheduled for that night were canceled due to the fact that many of their friends did not own four wheel drive cars and could not make it to the church. Instead of a rehearsal dinner, there was a small family gathering at Kera’s parents’ house to which me and my other Bangladesh teammates/wedding guests, Rachel and Drea, went. It was cool to see where Kera had grown up and meet her family.

After the party the four of us went back to Kera’s apartment to get some rest before the big day. The snow was scheduled to stop falling so we assumed the following day would be somewhat uneventful after the snow-filled day we’d just had. We were wrong.
In the morning, Kera was whisked off to perform her pre-wedding tasks. Drea, Rachel and I drove Kera’s car to perform our own pre-wedding tasks. As we were driving through the still-snowy conditions, a man started gesturing towards our car. We had no idea what he wanted but finally decided to stop at a nearby gas station to inspect the car for problems. Immediately we discovered that we had a flat tire on the rear passenger side. So, here we are, three out of town guests driving the bride’s car through the snow when we get a flat tire. Great! Rachel was ready to try to change it when a good Samaritan/flooring contractor named Kevin, came by. He offered his assistance to us. He helped us fill up the spare tire and put it on the car. He even had kneepads for Rachel to wear while she was assisting him. After we got the tire on, we headed to the church where we were supposed to be helping to set things up. We figured someone there could direct us to a tire place where we could get the tire patched.

On the way, like sign from above, we spotted a place called Tires Plus. We dropped the tire off there to get patched and continued on to the church. We helped move some things around in the church for a bit. Then Rachel showed us her leg. There was a swollen red bump above her ankle that did not look good. Kera’s sister is a nurse so we had her look at Rachel’s leg. She was alarmed and told us we needed to see a doctor and get it looked at quickly. It seemed to be some sort of infection. Rachel lives in Maui, where staph infections are prevalent so we were worried that this might be one. We heard about a little clinic inside of Walgreens and headed there to get Rachel’s leg inspected. While we were there, the tire place called and said the tire was irreparable. We needed to go back and get a new tire put on. Of course! The doctor at Walgreen’s prescribed some antibiotics to heal Rachel’s infection and then we headed back to Tires Plus. We dropped the car off and hung out at Einstein’s Bagels until the new tire had been put on. Then we headed back to Walgreen’s to pick up Rachel’s prescriptions.

After all this, we headed back to Kera’s place to rest a bit and pick up our dresses for the wedding that we had inadvertently left there. We ran into Kera, who we updated on the day’s events. Then we headed to the church to do the flowers. Somewhere along the way, we had become florists. Kera had intended to do the flowers herself but realized that might not be a good way to keep her stress level down.
When we got to the church, the flowers were not there yet so we just hung out. When they did arrive, we got to work trying to make Kera’s vision of her wedding day flowers come alive. Luckily her idea did not take much time or skill and we finished with plenty of time to get ready for the wedding. The flowers looked really nice and the important thing was that Kera thought so too.

After we finished the flowers, Kera asked Drea, Rachel and I to help take pictures for the photo guest book that Kera wanted to compile. I felt like some sort of weirdo given the way people looked at me when I asked to take their picture. Oh well, anything for Kera. We tried to get as many pictures as we could as well as made sure everyone signed the actual guest book until some older lady told us to “shut it down” so we could start the wedding.
To be continued…

The rest of my Spring Break

Here's part two of my Spring Break:

After our New York adventure, Jocelyn and I headed to Pennsylvania to check out an outlet mall I found on the internet. We used her Garmin GPS aka "Richard Garmin", aka "Garmie" to navigate the unfamiliar roads. Almost immediately we got stuck in traffic on a bizarrely narrow and winding road. I think Texas definitely beats Pennsylvania on the road battle. Garmie told us to take this random road past some old farm houses and said the outlet mall was not far. It didn't seem to make any sense. Then we saw the hand-printed sign that said "outlets" affixed to a stop sign. Weird but the outlets were indeed just past that sign. They were also right next to a freeway that Garmie, for some strange reason, did not tell us to take. We had fun hanging out and shopping a bit.

The next day we went into Philadelphia and saw the liberty bell and Independence Hall. The bell was a bit smaller than I expected but I was happy that it was free to go see it. After the history sightseeing, we went to this cool market-type thing with lots of shops and little stores. Then we went to a slightly ghetto mall. It had some great shoes and a lot of eighties colored clothes.

The next day Jocelyn was nice enough to drive me to Lancaster, PA to visit some of my YWAM friends. We drove on this weird tollway. It was nothing like our Texas toll roads. You got a ticket when you got on and then there were no exits for about 20 miles. Then when you exit, you pay based on where you exit. I don't know how you would get off if you got on there accidentally.

Lancaster was a cute town with some interesting old architecture. We met at Carrie and Corey's house and Jocelyn headed to a coffee shop to do some of her law school work. I hung out with Rachelle, Carrie and Alicia at a coffee shop and at Carrie's house. It was fun to catch up and really felt like no time had passed. I love friends like that!

Then on Friday, we hung out in the fancier shopping area of Philly. It was kind of like a mini-New York. I liked it. Then we headed to the airport to fly home. I had a good time but I was looking forward to returning to sunny skies and warm weather. The cold weather and gray skies were starting to get to me.

new website

I am trying my hand at a new website. Here's the link right now. I am hoping to simplify the web address in the future but you can see what I have so far.


http://hotstuffhightower.weebly.com/

Spring Break Thus Far

I am in the middle of my Spring Break and thought it might be a good idea to start chronicling my activities; otherwise I may end up with a ten page blog entry at the end.

My Spring Break started with a bang. I went out with some of my favorite teacher friends after school. We left school and went straight to eat wings, then we went bowling and then saw a movie. It was quite the day! I hadn't even packed despite the fact my flight was leaving early the next morning.

In the morning I left for New Jersey by way of Philadelphia. It had been a long time since I've traveled so it was nice to get on a plane again. I purposely stayed up super late the night before so I could sleep on the plane. I succeeded at sleeping for about 2 and a half hours of the three hour flight. The thirty minute interruption was due to the evil man sitting next to me who had to get up to go to the bathroom. Who goes to the bathroom during a three hour flight? There was a long line and I knew he would have to wake me up again when he came back to his seat. I had to pretend to read the SkyMall catalog until he returned. Ugh. I just wanted to sleep. I tried not to give ole' tiny bladder a dirty look as he sat down.

I arrived in Philadelphia and my friends/hosts, Jocelyn and Jason took me directly to get cheese steaks. When in Philly, right? It was pretty good but soooo greasy! Jocelyn spilled grease pretty much all over her clothes. I only managed to get a large splotch on my jeans. We tried to wash our clothes but those stains were stubborn. I guess I will look at that grease spot in the future and fondly remember my first official cheese steak.

On Sunday, Jocelyn and I headed to New York City. This was my second visit to the big apple. The first time, my best friend, Sarah and I went in college to visit our roommate, Lucy. Lucy grew up in New York and gave us the insider's tour. We really didn't see many of the tourist attractions. It was more like a Lucy reality tour. We saw her school, awesome brownstone townhouse, the Brooklyn bridge, her dad's art show, her friends' places and a few touristy things like the 911 sight and Times Square. We also went to the tapings of several TV shows: The Caroline Rhea Show, Donahue and Ricki Lake. That was so fun!

This time, I knew I was only going to be there for a day so I couldn't do everything. Our friend, Katy lives right by Central Park. She was out of town but she let me and Jocelyn stay at her place. We go to meet up with three of my YWAM friends, Esther, Sue and Sam. We also went to the Natural History Museum and Times Square. Today we had breakfast at the coffee shop the gang always hung out at on the best TV show in history, Seinfeld. Then we went to the Guggenheim museum. It was really cool, though some of the art was a bit hard to understand. We hung out at a coffee shop for a bit and then made the trek home to New Jersey. By the end of the day I was super tired of public transit. We spent about 4 hours plus on public transit during each of the days we were there. We also walked until our legs almost fell off. I've never seen that many types of dogs and babies in my life. Wow! I also heard a ton of languages.

I have a lot of friends who really want to live in New York. Personally I just like to visit New York. It is just such a different lifestyle than I am used to. I can't imagine living there full-time. Public transit is nice but I prefer to be able to drive my own car wherever I want. My car also doesn't have the bizarre mix of smells found on the NYC buses, trains and subways. I find it to be a bit grimy and dreary at times. I think this has something to do with the times of year I've been here.

I think I need to come to New York in the Summer some time. Last time I was here was in the winter and right now it's pretty cold and gray too. I need to see this place green and warm. Given my hatred of cold weather, I am sure I would enjoy it even more in warmer weather. As it stands now with the people I already know living here and all the people I know who aspire to live here, I won't have a problem finding a place to stay next time I come.

A Pretty Good Day

Today was a decent day so I might as well commemorate it on my blog. School has been pretty fun lately since I have been hanging out with a couple of my co-workers a lot. We are becoming pretty close friends, which makes everything more fun. This weekend we went out to eat, to a carnival, to a movie and the next night we went to a comedy club.

The day began in an amusing way. I forgot that today was picture day. This was our second picture day but it was the one with the whole class. Normally I dress up on Mondays but today I wore a really random outfit. This weekend I was determined to buy some fancy Nikes. I felt like I was car shopping as I quickly got sticker shock. Eventually I just bit the bullet and bought the ones I wanted. I decided to wear them today even though we can't wear jeans on Mondays. I compromised by wearing gray dress pants, a black and white top and my new fancy black and white Nikes. Classy, huh? And of course, this was the full body picture day. My students can look back at their class picture and see their teacher's spankin' new Nikes.

It's optional for the teacher to take an individual photo during the Spring since we already took one in the Fall. I decided to go for it today since I was in a goofy mood. I was pleasantly surprised to find that this picture involved a cheesy woodland background and me kneeling at a wooden fake desk. That's going to be a great picture! I joked to my kids that they could buy copies for $1 and some seemed genuinely interested. Being an elementary teacher really is a lot like being a celebrity.

School is a lot more fun post-Reading TAKS test. We've been doing poetry and the kids and I have enjoyed this break from standardized testing. On Mondays I have Young Life Bible study at 7pm. I rely on naps to help me differentiate between the two phases of my day as well as to give me a much needed energy boost. Today was an unusual Monday. After tutorials, I talked with some friends in the parking lot for a bit and then I talked to a friend on the phone all the way home from school. Then another friend called just as I was hanging up and we talked for thirty minutes. Just as I was hanging up with that person, another friend called and we talked for a while. Then just as I was hanging up, one of my Young Life kids called needing a ride. I think that's the record for most back-to-back calls I've ever received. It was a bit intense. This basically eliminated any time I had for a nap and I had to just quickly eat my Lean Cuisine and leave for Bible Study. It was a little hectic but I felt pretty popular.

Bible study was good but now I need to go to sleep. That daylight savings time is catching up with me for sure.

Somethings Just Can't Be Washed

I did something really stupid the other day. I wanted to keep it a secret at first for pride reasons but now I've decided to share it with the internet world.

On Thursday I was really proud of myself. After school, I rode my bike 10 miles. I've been trying to ride my bike a lot on the weekends.The last two weekends I have ridden 36 miles and 44 miles, respectively. I haven't been able to squeeze in a lot of mileage on the weekdays though due to lack of sunlight and overall fatigue from the day. So, as I said, I was feeling pretty good about myself after my ten mile weekday ride.

I had put my cell phone in the bag under my bike seat during my ride. I took it out and then lost track of it. I decided to do some laundry. I loaded all my clothes into the washer and then chilled for a bit. When it was time to transfer the load from washing machine to dryer, I pulled the items out piece by piece. When, I got to the bottom of the washer, I was shocked and appalled by what I saw. There was my cell phone at the bottom of the washer. In case you were womdering, going through the wash and spin cycle is not good for cell phones. I was so mad! I am still not sure how it got in there. I know it was not in the pocket of any of the clothes I was washing. Needless to say, I was pissed.

Luckily, my parents have a family plan for that phone. That means there are five phones that could be upgraded. My grandparents' phone was due for an update so I was able to get the same phone I had for only $15! Not a bad ending to this misfortune at all!

Ruminations during TAKS

I spent 7 hours watching my kids take the big TAKS test today. I make a point of not looking too closely at their answers during the test. If they choose stupid answers, it's hard for me to not punch them in the back of the head. And I think that would get me fired. It was pretty boring so I had plenty of time to think. That's where this pensive blog comes in:

So, I've learned a few things from my dating experiences this year. I don't think a public blog like this is a good forum for specific relationship talk. That's pretty trashy. That's why I haven't mentioned my dating life on this blog. I still agree with the "no kiss and tell" policy. With all that being said, I want to write about some of the things I have learned in the past year from the guys I've dated. I'm purposefully choosing to not be specific about individual guys.

I hope I didn't lose you after that vague disclaimer. I've just learned a lot about what I want and don't want in a guy from my experiences.

Traditional male/female roles:
Traditional male and female roles are important to me. I like it when the guy plans the date. It is also a plus when they are good at thinking of creative things beyond just dinner and a movie, though that is fun too from time to time. I've been on some pretty interesting dates to a carnival, museums, disc golf, festivals, ice sculpture competition and more.
I like it when the guy opens doors for me, though the car door is a little over the top. I also like when the guy pays, though that doesn't mean he has to pay for everything. I think it's about showing that he can take care of me since being a provider is a guy's natural role.

Witty Banter:
This is something I have only recently pinpointed as something that is important to me. Most people who know me well know that I like to joke around and make people laugh. This doesn't mean I can't be serious when the situation calls for it, but I prefer to make light of most situations for my own amusement. I need a guy that I can just joke around and laugh with; a guy who I can have fun with just by talking to. I want a partner in life that will help me to have fun in boring, sad or difficult situations. It's also a plus if he knows a lot about Seinfeld and The Simpsons.

Outgoing:
I need a guy who is at least moderately out-going. I want a guy who would be remembered by people at a party. I'm not interested in a guy who is too quiet and I would feel like I need to ease into social situations. I especially appreciate guys who can get up and make fools of themselves in front of a crowd of kids. Maybe that's why I always get a mini-crush on the guys who perform the skits at Young Life camp.

Smarter than Me:
This might sound strange but I really need to be with someone who's smarter than me- in most areas. I'm no genius (despite what my mom thinks) but I consider myself to be reasonably intelligent. The fact that a guy is smarter than me is more important than his age. He can be younger as long as he seems smarter. Grammar is also important to me. I'm sure this sounds snooty but I can't help but base my opinion of some one's intelligence on the way they write. Misspellings, misuse of homophones and bad punctuation all negatively affect my image of a person's intelligence. I know it isn't really fair but I can't seem to help myself.

There are plenty of other things I know I want in a mate ie; hard-core Christian and interested in sports but the aforementioned qualities are some that I have more recently realized the importance of. The dating I've done, both good and bad, has definitely been helpful in clarifying what I am looking for. Now if I could only find an intelligent, sports-loving, chivalrous, christian, outgoing, witty conversationalist who likes me back, I'd be in good shape.

Love with a giant furry bear

Today we had a TAKS pep rally to get the students pumped up about conquering the dreaded test tomorrow. Our principal got the Houston Rockets basketball team mascot, Clutch- a giant furry bear, to come do a little demonstration for the kids. It was actually pretty entertaining with a lot of audience participation. I was forced to participate a little bit too much. Clutch came over and kissed my hand and then pretended to make out with me. It was definitely my first time making out with a mascot. It was a little awkward.

Afterwards, the kids kept asking me about my new "boyfriend." I told them that he was really cool and he got me free Rockets tickets.

Tonight I watched part of the season finale of The Bachelor. I used to get really into that show but I really prefer reality shows with a trashier edge to them. Think Temptation Island, Love Cruise, and more recently, Momma's Boys and G's to Gents. Anyway, I like reality shows that I can watch to make fun of the participants. The Bachelor doesn't have a lot of that though it does have a fair amount of cheesiness. "This is the most dramatic rose ceremony ever!" Today's was simply painful. Jason, who was the runner-up on the last season's Bachelorette had to choose between two girls whom he said he was in love with. After he dumped the first girl, he cried like a little girl for several minutes. Very unattractive. I do not like a guy who is weepy and emotional. Then, he proposes to the other girl and it looks like they will live happily ever after (even though none of the couples made on The Bachelor have lasted.)

After the show, they had a special about what was happening to the couple now. They made it sound like someone had died with lots of dramatic music and disclaimers. When Jason came out, he looked like someone had died. It turns out that he had just decided that he no longer wanted to date the girl he had initially chosen and now wanted a redo with the runner-up. Unfortunately he had not told the girl he was dating this yet. He made a statement about not wanting to hurt her and then proceeds to dump her on national television. I am not sure what could be more hurtful than that! She doesn't see it coming and awesomely calls him a bastard.

Then the runner-up comes on and Jason tells her he wants a second chance. She can't even speak because she is so shocked. She stupidly agrees to try things out with him again even though it seems very likely that those two will break up on national television in the near future. So, basically Jason sucks. I would rather have Clutch any day!

A slip of the tongue

Tomorrow my students are taking a fake TAKS test all day long. This means I do pretty much nothing. This fact coupled with too much caffeine means that I will probably be staying up late tonight. Yes, tonight.

We had Young Life club tonight. That consists of some goofy songs, a game that is often embarrassing and/or messy and then a Jesus talk. Before and after involve hanging out with some pretty cool high school kids. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by trying to balance my real job and my volunteer job. One key to this balance is naps. I seem to be able to manage it all better when I take a thirty minute nap during the couple hours I have between school and Young Life. It makes me feel like it's two short days instead of one long one.

One of my co-leaders is a great guy but he sometimes inadvertently says awkward things when he's the one giving the Jesus talk. One time he was trying to make a point about how our sins make us "black." Then he says, but God can't be black! About half of the kids in our club are black so this did not go over well. I heard a lot of different confused and offended utterances. And the poor guy just starts sputtering and trying to clarify. It took a while to restore order in the room.

Today he did it again. He was telling a story about meeting a really good looking girl at a Young Life camp. He said he was interested in her but he was "just there for the guys." He meant that he was there to be with the high school guys he brought but it definitely sounded like he was saying he was there to pick up guys and not girls. I couldn't stop laughing. It was one of those times I knew I shouldn't be laughing but I just couldn't help myself.

It reminds me of a couple months ago when I was introduced to a friend of a friend. This guy seemed pretty cool until this conversation:
guy: I used to play the trumpet in high school and I still play it a lot.
me: Oh, are you in a band?
guy: No, but I play with myself every night
me: (giggling)
guy: (looks at me confused)
me: You just said you play with yourself every night
guy: (still looking confused)

It's hard for me to hide my amusement in general even if it is inappropriate in the situation and I am definitely easily amused. This happens at school a lot. The kids do or say something that deserves punishment and I giggle. One girl told my co-teacher that her dog ate her homework. How funny is that? Did she hear that on TV or in a movie? Who thinks they can get away with something like that? Haha!