Random funny things

Tomorrow is my last day of school! It doesn't even feel real. I don't know what I thought it would feel like but it is not this. On Friday we have a teacher work day and then Saturday night I head to Young Life camp on one of those big buses with TVs.

One of our Young Life kids was afraid her boss wouldn't give her time off work to come to camp. About two weeks ago, she told her boss that she would need the first week of June off for her Grandfather's funeral. Unless she was going to kill him, it'd be a little hard to predict something like that. Needless to say, she was fired.

On another humorous note, today I was hit on by a mentally handicapped guy at Big Lots. For those of you unfamiliar with Big Lots, it's kind of a step up from the dollar store with a similar clientele. I was looking for garish make-up for a skit I will be performing for tomorrow's talent show. As I wandered the aisles looking for make-up, I noticed a guy who seemed to be everywhere I was. He looked normal though seemed to be struggling to carry one of those jumbo multi-packs of paper towels. When I finally found the make-up, he sidled up to me.

After some very awkward silence, he said something like this with very stilted speech, "I have been going up and down aisles of things I haven't been interested in...all to get up the courage to talk to you." Eek! I didn't know what to do as it was suddenly clear that he was of below average intellect. I decided to ignore him. Then he said, "My name is Tim and you seem nice." To this I replied, "It's hard to tell if someone is nice by watching them shop." (It actually would have been safe to assume that I was a hooker since I was buying red lipstick, hot pink blush and blue eyeshadow.) I tried to politely ignore him. I didn't want to be mean but I didn't think I should show any interest for fear of leading him on. He then said, "My parole officer said I am no longer a danger to myself or others." I am not certain whether this was a joke or not because it was delivered in the same stilted monotone. Needless to say, I was not reassured by this; joke or no joke. Then he mumbled something about browsing other aisles.

I quickly gathered my whore make-up and got out of there. Just another day at Big Lots!