Confessions of a slacker

This is kind of a fake post. I just want to apologize to all three people who may still read my blog. I like the idea of writing fun and witty things on a regular basis but I tend to procrastinate. I even have a good idea for an entry right now but I just don't have the energy to undertake it this second. So, I will try to begin writing more again but I am not going to make any promises. With Young Life, grad school and work, it's easy to forget about the blog. Even so, I am going to try to start this thing up again.

On a side note, I am really enjoying this CD, Chasing Someday by Drew Holcomb. He and his wife came to our Young Life leader retreat and they are cool people with big hearts. They volunteer some with Young Life including with the special needs kids ministry. One of their songs was featured in the TV show, Parenthood and it's pretty cool. By the way, "Parenthood" is a pretty cool show too.

You know you’re in Asia when….

1.       You get really excited to see an MB (mole beard). It’s when someone has a mole on their face with oddly thick, long hair growing out of it. It’s like a cross between a mole and a beard. You get extra points if it’s a lady mole beard.

2.       You also get really excited when you go into a restroom and find a) a Western toilet, b) toilet paper and c) soap. KFC and McDonald’s are the best bet for these.

3.       You find yourself haggling in order to get a lower price on an already $2 item.

4.       You avoid looking at other foreigners.

5.       You let strangers take your picture.

6.       You don’t get that freaked out when a saleswoman touches your eyelashes.

7.       You think McDonald’s is too expensive.

8.       You meet people with names like Coco, Candy, South Fly, Big Bear, Biff, Gold and Magic.

9.       One Starbucks drink is the same price as a pair of shoes.

10.   You can buy tiger paws on the street as well as seahorses, snakes and Gucci handbags.

First Week in Asia

I have been here in Asia for one week now. We have gotten back in the swing of things very quickly. The first day we arrived, we met with my old friend, Marcia and we've met with several friends since. The team here is nice but a bit shy. I am trying to get them to engage more with the people. So far, I have taught an English corner, attended an English corner, attended a study and met people to invite to these events. I also got a friend to take me shopping for some killer purple paint-splattered Ray Bans. One really fun thing has been to talk with the people who I knew from before but had joined our club in the year since I have been here last. The change in them is awesome and a true testament to the big guy's power. Now if Marcia would just believe...

Despite our success so far, Shannon and I have already had a set-back. On Friday morning, we were heading to the team's apartment for some singing to the big guy. We decided to ride a bike with me on the front and Shannon on the back. The sidewalk was very crowded where we were riding. A man on a motorbike came very close to us as he tried to squeeze between me and a walker. On the other side was a kid and in my attempt to miss the motorbike, I bumped the kid. During all of this, Shannon's foot got caught in the bike's wheel. It was not good. She fell over and started crying and her shoe stayed wedged in the bike. I have never been great at a quick response in crisis. I just stared, shocked. A very nice older lady took Shannon's shoe out of the bike and told us with gestures to go to the nearby pharmacy. The pharmacies here don't require prescriptions. 

When we got there, another lady who'd been at the accident scene was there and explained what had happened. They sold us some Asian medicine stuff that looked like a small bottle of perfume and smelled like strong mouthwash. I guess it couldn't hurt. We've been putting this stuff on Shannon and letting her rest. Yesterday was the first day she really went out since the accident. She is still a bit sore but getting around okay. Please lift her up since we walk here all the time. We'd also like to play some basketball. 

Young Life Camp- Frontier Ranch

It's been a crazy month! June 4- June 12 I went to Frontier Ranch in Buena Vista, Colorado as a leader for my Young Life kids. I think this was my sixth time to go as a leader but it's always fun. I've been to four different Young Life camps but I think Frontier is my favorite. We brought about 45 kids from our urban high school and about the same amount from the other urban school in our area. Some of the kids have never left Houston so it's a treat to watch them see new things. It was also even more fun for me this year because my friend, Shannon came along as a leader. She hadn't had any experience with Young Life and had never been to camp or Colorado so it was all new to her too.

We were in a cabin with Freshman and Sophomore girls and they were pretty crazy. They were good at having fun but not so good at being serious. It was great to get to know them better, regardless. One thing that really struck me when they were serious was how much they'd been hurt by their parents. The people who were supposed to protect them had instead caused them so much pain. I am looking forward to being a positive adult presence in their lives and help them to understand how much God loves them.

 Some of our cabin at the rodeo

 Me and Shannon with some of the girls who pied us

 Having fun at Western Night

 Resting after our hike

Most of the kids we took to camp

Testing

I have been working at my old school as an hourly teacher. In this position, I have done a variety of jobs including tutoring struggling students, substituting and monitoring for standardized tests. My least favorite task is monitoring standardized tests because it's just so dull. As a monitor for these tests, you are supposed to read the directions to the kids and make sure they aren't cheating. You also give them pencils and kleenex as needed. I've been testing one to six kids during these all-day tests. One kid is the worst because you really just sit there since you can't assist them with any answers and they definitely aren't cheating.

Last week I had to one-on-one test a boy I will call "Daniel." Daniel is a third grader in special ed. so I had to read the entire test to him. This was complicated by the fact that in addition to being a very sweet little boy, he has the attention span of a goldfish. The mornings weren't as bad as Daniel was very sleepy. I kept him awake by gently poking him with the eraser end of my pencil. I even let him take a little nap. After lunch, Daniel was far more alert. This turned out to be unfortunate. His mind wandered so often that I started writing down his comments.

Here is a transcript. Keep in mind that this was during a Math test and then a Science test I was reading aloud to him.
-I don't like peanut butter.
-Do you have a dog?
-Can I take a nap? (He'd already taken a nap that morning with me.)
-Can I play a game?
-I like to make noises.
-I have a bruise. Can I go see the nurse?
-I didn't know flying squirrels were real.
-When can I go back to class?
-I saw Mr. J go by. Can I say, hi?
-I want to go home already but I can't.
-Now can I go to the nurse?
-Mr. C has a toy microscope.
-How many pages do we have left?
-These are the last pages. I am going to read them inside my head. (Finishes six questions in 30 seconds).
-Ok, I pick this flashlight. (Not an answer choice).
-You know you want it!
-Do you want ice cream?
(Makes grunting noises) -That means, Ok
-Want a tweetie bird?
-Want an owl?
-You want ice cream?
-My legs are sleepy.
-If I don't know the answer, I just guess right?
-Is that Mr. C? Can I go check it out?
-My hand is back awake now.
-How many more questions?

His inattention was almost fascinating and would have been a lot more humorous if I wasn't trying to get him to finish his tests. In the end, the day certainly wasn't as boring as some testing days have been.

The Tina Fey Theory

I recently finished reading Bossypants by Tina Fey. It's safe to say that I LOVED this book! It was exceedingly hilarious and really fun to read. Reading this book reminded me of a theory I have about men, which I am henceforth calling, "The Tina Fey theory."

Tina Fey is undoubtedly talented and hilarious. She's been very successful at what she does so I am clearly not the only one who feels this way about her. She is not an unattractive woman but also not incredibly beautiful. I think she is average, verging on pretty when she tries. I think of myself the same way. Don't get me wrong. I don't have some self esteem problem that leaves me believing I look like a troll. I think I am average to pretty depending on the day.

Back to my theory. If a guy thinks that Tina Fey is hot, then there is a good chance he is the kind of guy I want. What this says to me is that he values her personality and general hilarity and finds that it makes her beautiful. Now I am not claiming to be as funny as Tina Fey but I do believe my personality makes me more attractive. So, if you know a guy who thinks Tina Fey is hot, send him my way.

Suspicions Confirmed

This blog is long overdue but I figure it is never too late to share a funny story.

                Every weekend there are countless open houses in my neighborhood. My neighborhood is very interesting and eclectic. My parents and I like to go to different open houses on the weekends for free entertainment. It is also a chance to get decorating ideas.

                A few months ago we went to an open house put on by our former real estate agent. Her associate, David was manning the house. My dad recognized him as someone who had been at our old house for our open houses. My dad started talking to David, who didn’t recognize us despite the connection. My dad told him about how we’d bought another house that the real estate agent had been listing and he remembered our house.

                Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. The house next door is for sale. My parents don’t like the neighbors too much partly because their loud conversations on their porch filter right into my parents’ bedroom. My parents wanted to see the inside of their house but felt awkward going to an open house in case the neighbors were there. My roommate, Katie and I have never really met the neighbors so we decided we’d go to their open house so we could look around.

                When I got inside, I saw David, the real estate agent. I figured he wouldn’t recognize me because he didn’t recognize us last time and I was with Katie and not my parents. After I had only been in the house a few minutes, David said, “Haven’t I seen you somewhere?” I told him that I had seen him at another open house with my parents. I thought this was the end of it. A few minutes later, he said, “Don’t you live next door?” I was caught. I sheepishly fessed up. He was nice and said that often neighbors come to open houses and up telling their friends who are looking for houses.

                Katie and I explored the house. As we were looking around upstairs, I got a great idea. My bathroom window looks out at the neighbors’ house. I’ve always been concerned about how much they can see as I take a shower. I called my mom and said, “Mom, can you go stand in my shower?” She immediately replied, “Okay.” She didn’t even wait for an explanation. As Katie and I looked out the neighbors’ window, all of sudden, my mom’s face appeared. Weird. We could really only see her head and shoulders until she pantomimed washing her hair. If she’d been naked, we’d have totally seen her chest. Eek! My suspicions were confirmed. I need to get a cover for that window or start charging my neighbors for the show.

                When we went back downstairs, real estate agent David asked us why we were laughing and we told him about our experiment. We started talking about how Katie wants to buy a house and it turns out he has a lot of experience in the area she’s thinking about. He was very nice and knowledgeable. Looks like Katie found her real estate agent. The next step is to find a house. Overall it was a fun afternoon at the neighbors’. 

Thoughts on Feminist Theory

I am currently in a Counseling Theories class. The point of the class is to give us an overall picture of some of the most widely-accepted counseling theories from Freud and beyond. Our professor encourages us to find the parts of each theory that we like the best to use later when we are counselors. Some theories I definitely identify more with than others. So far, I am most interested in Reality therapy and Cognitive Behavior therapy, though I have a lot to learn.

We recently learned about Feminist therapy. This is a theory I do not like very much. I am not saying it is not without merit but it does not fit with how I see the world. The therapy attempts to eradicate traditional gender roles and blames much of society's problems on them. I am not saying that men haven't oppressed women and there might not be room for change. What I have a problem with is the idea of trying to get rid of gender roles. Personally I believe God made man and woman different but equal. Regardless of your beliefs about why we are that way, it seems ludicrous to me to believe that men and women are the same or are interchangeable.

Here are some situations where I would prefer a man:
Moving heavy things
Driving (esp. backing out of a tight space)
Packing a car
Fixing just about anything
General protection

Here are some situations where I would prefer a woman:
Shopping
Talking about my feelings
Decorating
Hospitality
Caring for kids

I am not saying that men can't do some of the women things I've listed and that women can't do some of the men things. I am just saying that most men are better than most women at the first list and most women are better than most men at the second list. I mean, my friend, Sarah Morgan O'Bryan picked up a couch and moved it all by herself and my cousin, Roy has decorated his house quite well. I like that men and women are different. If men were just like women, I probably wouldn't be attracted to them. I think when men and women do what they are best at, it actually provides more freedom, not the oppression that feminist theory purports. We are equal but different and for that I am thankful. As you can see, I will not be becoming a feminist therapist anytime in the near future.

The Beginning of My Softball Career

I am still on Spring Break and I am realizing how nice it is to have some free time. Too bad it ends in only a few days. One thing I added to my already busy schedule is a co-ed softball team. Rojas, the P.E. teacher at the school I work at, has organized a co-ed team that plays in March. Basketball is really my sport but I am decent at most sports and enjoy being part of a team. I didn't play softball in high school but I did play some co-ed intra-murals in college. I didn't already have anything scheduled for Friday nights so I agreed to be part of the team.

I missed our first games because I was out of town visiting my brother's family. Last night was my debut performance. Our team is called the Third Base Bullies and we are mostly Mexican. The first team we played was mostly Black and the second team was mostly Asian. I am not sure if all the teams are so racially-segregated but it was pretty funny.

We ended up losing both games. Some innings we looked pretty good and other innings we looked pretty terrible. I played third base and definitely wished I knew more about softball or third base, for that matter. I had pretty realistic expectations of myself so I was happy to do anything good and not mess up too bad. I did okay. I was the second to bat, which was handy since most of the pitchers weren't too warmed up. I ended up getting walked three times, struck out once and got one hit where I beat the tag at first. Not too shabby. I caught a fly ball for an out, I stopped a line drive and caught the ball for an out at third. I made a few mistakes but I like to focus on the positives.

My friend, Erin is on the team and she, like me is fairly athletic but without much softball experience. She was in right field for most of the game and didn't get much action. She hadn't had much luck at the plate either. In the last inning I got walked and then the guy behind me got walked, which meant he got to take two bases. This put me on third. I prayed that Erin would get a hit and she totally did. I ended up running home and scoring a run. It was a nice way to end the game. Too bad we still lost by 10 runs.

It was fun to be part of a team and I look forward to our games next week. Maybe I will find someone who can give me some pointers so I can actually feel like I know what I am doing.

Young Life

I have been a blog slacker but here's a video of what I have been up to.

Think Before You Speak

I've been working as a tutor/substitute forty hours a week. It's really nice to be back with kids. I really do love them! On Friday, I substituted for a fourth grade class at my old school. It was field trip day to the Science Museum. I enjoy field trip days as long as they don't include incessant questioning. Fortunately in this case, I was being honest when I told the kids I didn't know anything.

The field trip was a bit too short to see much of the museum. We started by going to the planetarium and watching a movie about space. It made me bitter about how NASA is essentially being shut down. Then they divided my students up into small groups, each with a guide, and showed them around the dinosaur exhibit. The tour guides were a bit strange and I think they are volunteers. I didn't really know what I was supposed to do, so I just walked from group to group, making my presence known. One of the tour guides seemed like a conspiracy theorist. He kept talking about 2012 and how people were going to try to make money off it and the kids should be careful. I think they were just confused.

After the dinosaur time, we went into this classroom where a lady taught a lesson on animals. It was actually very well done The best part was when she gave each table of kids a real animal skull and then pictures of animals that they had to try to match to the skull. It was a cool hands-on activity. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of animal skull access so it would be hard to replicate this one. The teacher asked the kids different questions about animals throughout the class. At one point she said, "Name a carnivore that lives in the ocean." One of my students yelled, "Cougar!" I laughed in her face, and kind of loudly. I am sorry but that's just a stupid answer. Sometimes kids need to know when they've said something dumb.

Traumatic Timeso

One of my classes this semester is called "Intervention Strategies for Psychological Trauma.As you can probably guess, this class is pretty intense. I didn't really know what I was getting into because the course catalog only listed it as Intervention Strategies. It is a hard class emotionally but I would love to help traumatized people.

Last week we watched a fictional movie about child molestation. The movie waas intense and I wouldn't recommend watching it. It follows two boys who were sexually abused by their baseball coach. One boy grows up to be a male prostitute and the other boy concocts a story of being abducted by aliens to explain why he has periods of time he doesn't remember.

I was a bit traumatized by the film, especially the sex scenes. I didn't feel like I was going to cry until after the movie was over. I began to think of all the people I know and love who were molested as children. Unfortunately that list is too long. I wrote down the names of all the people I know who were violated as children and I came up with 25 names. And these are just the people who've told me. I am sure I know other people who haven't told me.the whole thing makes me so sad and mad at the same time. I know how negatively this affects people and it makes me so sick that people hurt kids like this.

When I got home, I prayed for each of those people I know by name. I prayed that God would restore what was selfishly stolen from them. I prayed for a healthy view of sex and for healthy sex lives for all these people. And I prayed for the people who victimized them. I prayed that they would get help and never do this to another child. I don't see how people can honestly say that they think people are good when children are used and abused by those who are supposed to protect them. "The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children." Deitrich Bonhoeffer
Looks like our society has a long way to go!

My Third Career Day

I've been working at my old school three days a week. It's actually been great! I don't have all the pressures of being a teacher as I tutor and substitute and I get to be with my friends there.

On Friday, we had Career Day. This is one of my favorite elementary school days. My school growing up didn't have Career Day but they were prominently displayed on my favorite TV shows like Full House. I think Career Day is a great idea to help kids see what types of jobs they can have when they grow up.

The event is set-up so that each class gets at least 9 presenters. This is great but the sheer number of participants means that some presenters will be duds. Some people's jobs are too complicated or too uninteresting for children. Some people are too complicated or uninteresting for children. This time I was subbing for a fourth grade class that got really engaging speakers.

We started with a lawyer, who did a decent job of explaining his profession to the kids. Then we had a woman from the city's gang prevention task force. She knew how to talk to children and had a nice powerpoint. My favorite part of her presentation was when she showed a picture of a woman with short blonde hair. (The presenter was a Hispanic woman with dark hair.) She asked who the picture was of and one of the kids said it was her. In fact, it was our mayor. Our kids really don't know much about our city government or apparently the difference between grown women of different ethnicities. The third speaker of that group was a judge, who looked to be about 25 but I am sure that was not the case.

The next group was probably the most interesting. The funny part of the presentations is that the other two presenters just stand there while one person is talking. It is interesting to try to guess what the other presenters do for a living before they speak. The cop was in uniform and he went first. Just before he came in, one of the kids had said he wanted to be a police officer so it was great timing. The cop was quite a character and I am pretty sure he would have talked the whole time if he'd been allowed. The kids started asking him if he'd fired pretty much every weapon that ever existed. I don't know if it's a good thing that they are so familiar with various weapons of mass destruction. While the cop was talking, I tried to figure out what the other people did for a living. There was an old guy who looked like a professor and a youngish guy who frankly, looked like a drug dealer. He wasn't dressed up at all and he had two facial piercings. I figured they wouldn't let a drug dealer in for Career Day so I guessed that he owned an auto body shop. Then when he began presenting, it was clear. He was Dave Morales, a DJ for local radio station, 96.5. He definitely had a great radio voice. He had the kids name their favorite singers and then told stories about how he'd met almost all of them. I think a girl almost fainted when he said he'd met Justin Beiber. It was hilarious! The old guy turned out to be an electrical designer, which simply can't follow after a cop and someone who's actually met the Beiber. Poor guy. It's like the year my dad, the lawyer had to follow the animal cop. He tried his best, though.

One of our last presenters was a retired educator whose son is our school's namesake. He was a state representative who died in a car crash. Then we had the most successful African American ballerina in Houston and a guy that worked at the Children's Museum. Overall it was a fun day and I think all the kids want to be cops or Djs now.

Livin' La Vida Loca: Grad School Edition

I've finally had a full week of my crazy new schedule. Here's the gist of my life these days: I tutor 40 hours- 3 days at the school I used to work at and 2 days at another elementary school. I wish I could quit the job at the other elementary school because it pays half as much, but I have made a commitment that I should uphold. Then I am taking 12 hours of classes in school counseling. I am also a Young Life leader, which keeps me busy 2-3 nights a week. And did I mention I am starting a small group with my church on Thursday nights? It's pretty nuts but I realize I actually really like being busy. I've already gotten into the habit of bringing my grad school books with me everywhere to make use of any spare moment. Now I do feel good about schedule right now. Let's see how I feel when all the tests and papers hit.

Here's an example of what my Wednesdays look like. Last Wednesday was my first day tutoring, first day of school and first night of Young Life club. I woke up in the 6's. Ugh! I drove to the school I was tutoring at. I left a little too early so I ended up chilling in the parking lot for about 30 minutes. This is why I will have my grad school books with me at all times from now on. It was interesting to see how a different school runs but eight hours was a long time. I left a 3:30pm and headed to U of H. I changed in my minivan. That thing may guzzle gas, but it makes a hell of a changing room. Unfortunately I forgot my tennis shoes so I had to wear my fancy teacher shoes with my jeans and t-shirt. I brought foldy, my folding bike, which was a good thing since I got a little lost. I rode foldy from the parking lot to my class.

Even though it was the first day, my class went all the way from 4:30-7:30. I almost ran out of energy half way through but a Coke remedied the situation. After class, I swiftly rode foldy back to the minivan for another costume change. This is where the lack of tennis shoes was really problematic. I changed into my biking clothes for a Young Life skit. I ended up just wearing my socks since I thought it looked a little less weird than bike clothes and my fancy teacher shoes.

I drove to Young Life and arrived about 15 minutes after it had begun. We were having our annual Pizza Olympics, where we call three pizza places at the same time and place an order. They are unknowingly a part of our little game. As each unsuspecting pizza delivery person arrives, they are awarded gold, silver or bronze medals and treated to the Olympic theme song. Their facial expressions are priceless. My job was to pretend to be a pizza person and bring in the three pizzas for the pizza eating competition. I dressed in my full bike gear and had one of the students sit on the back seat of foldy carrying the pizzas. It didn't quite go as planned. The kids mobbed me at the door and since I hadn't been around in a while, some of them thought I really was a pizza delivery person. Other kids did recognize me and tried to hug me as I was trying to make it through the sea of high school kids to the front of the room. In the process, some of the kids grabbed one of the pizzas and started to eat it.

I didn't know what I was going to say for the skit when I finally got in but it didn't matter because the kids were so loud, they wouldn't have heard me anyway. I ended by folding up my bike and walking off. It was pretty crazy and overwhelming to be thrust into a crazy crowd of teenagers. After everything calmed down, my friend Ann gave a talk about how God created us. I don't know if it was partly because of my long day but I found myself wanting to cry, not out of sadness but out of gratefulness. I felt so blessed that I got to end my day sharing Jesus with high school kids. It made it all worth it.

Foldy's Big Debut

Yesterday was quite the emotional day both good and bad. I started the day by going to Oran Tarlton's funeral. Oran was a really great guy and a good friend to my parents and boss to my sister-in-law. He was only 53 and left behind a wife and two daughters aged 24 and 21. He died after a tough battle with cancer and will definitely be missed by many people. The funeral was good as funerals go and really felt like a celebration of his life. I couldn't help but cry when I saw his male friends crying as they spoke of Oran's life. Men crying gets me every time. Several of us wore bicycling jerseys as a tribute to his love of bike riding. I wasn't sure how to pull off a bike jersey at a funeral and ended up wearing a jersey with white long sleeve shirt underneath, fancy grey pants and a pea coat on top. It was a little unorthodox but the other people who wore jerseys dressed about the same so it worked out. The pastor told of how in his last days, Oran was thinking of heaven and also of riding his bike. It's not theologically sound, but it's nice to think of Oran up in heaven, no longer suffering and riding his bike.

After the funeral, I headed home to get ready for my birthday party that night. My friend, Sara Stanford was already in town so she helped me cook and get ready for the party. My mom had me vacuum the whole downstairs and since their house is fairly large, it took a long time. I'd just finished vacuuming and was still kind of in the vacuum zone, when I saw my friend, Jocelyn. We've been friends for 21 years, so it wasn't that weird to see her. Then I realized that she lives in New Jersey and I had no idea she was coming. It was so great to see her and such a surprise! I already felt like my day would be good just because Jocelyn had come in town.

We got everything ready and people started to arrive. It ended up being a very eclectic mix of people, just as I had hoped. There were about 25 people there who I knew from childhood, high school, church, college, summer camp, Young Life and YWAM, in addition to my family members. It was pretty awesome! I showed everyone "foldy," my folding bike and they were quite impressed. People took turns riding it in pairs down the street. For gifts I got a lot of school supplies for my upcoming grad school. The most memorable was my Justin Beiber notebook. That's sure to make me some new friends. Overall I had a blast and it was a great way to celebrate my 30th year of life. My real birthday is tomorrow but I don't have any special plans other than dinner at Chuy's. I think yesterday was probably sufficient for celebrating. Good times with good people. Most of the guests live in Houston so it definitely got me excited about all the friends I have here. I feel very blessed.

Massaged in Maui

I've been meaning to write about this for a few weeks. Better late than never.
I've had a few massages in my day but only the dirt cheap Asian kind. My first massage was in Thailand. We laid on what looked like gym mats while ladies in hospital scrub-type outfits twisted our bodies like pretzels. They used their knees and elbows to put pressure on various body parts. I can't say that the experience was too relaxing.

My next massage was in China where the lack of English made the whole thing a lot more weird. You can look at that experience in my post titled "Trina Warrenton, this one's for you." Last time I went to China, I got two foot massages and a lot of head massages. It's a great cheap activity to do with friends. My hour and a half foot massage included a half hour back massage, all for about $7. The head massage included a shampoo for about $2.50. I think head massages are my favorite and coincidentally offered cheaply at every hair salon in China. Up until very recently I had never had a massage in America, mainly because I am used to such cheap prices and can't really justify them on my limited income.

When my family visited, my mom decided we should have a spa day. My friends have a concierge business that offered a good deal on the Grande Wailea spa. This is one of the best spas in Maui. Here is our experience:

When you enter the spa, it looks like some sort of Roman palace and I instantly felt not fancy enough to be there. We were escorted to the locker room where they had electronic lockers for us to store our things. As they showed us around, they continued to stress that the spa was clothing optional. I was a little afraid that everyone would take them up on this offer. After we changed into bathing suits and walked around the spa, I was relieved to find that none of the women we saw had chosen to take the staff up on their nudity offer.

The spa had a bunch of different pools you could lounge in for the hour before your massage appointment. Some were like hot tubs and others had scented oils. My mom and I gave each one a try. As we moved from one area to another, I noticed that one woman had chosen to take advantage of "clothing optional." This was the biggest lady in the whole spa and the one I would least like to see nude. I will refrain from being graphic but I didn't know the human body could look like that. It was like passing a car accident, you know you should look away but you just can't help yourself. I guess I should admire her lack of self-consciousness; but then again, I had to see her.

In the middle of our time in the pools both my mom and I got a sea salt scrub. Then, after an hour of pursuing the pools, we were told to go change into a robe. Then we headed upstairs to a waiting area with plush couches and chandeliers. It was so nice that the staff spoke English. During my Asian massages, I was always very confused about each thing that was coming next. The massage itself was amazing and the best I've ever had. I think it was a Swedish massage and it seems like those Swedes really know their stuff. I felt like I was in a trance and was totally confused and disoriented when my masseuse told me to turn over.

It was a really fun experience and I am thankful that my Mom paid for it. I know now how fancy people live and boy, is it nice!

My Ideal Man

I've been pretty busy with my family in town but it's time to get back on the blog train.
Our base has been reading through the Bible in chronological order this year. This has been good for me. I am always more purposeful and intentional about reading through the Bible when I have a plan. Recently I was reading in Titus about the qualifications for a man to be an elder or leader in a church. I quickly realize that they are good husband qualifications as well. So, if I was going to create a personal ad based on those qualifications, this is what it might look like:

SWF, 29 seeking SM who is blameless, not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain, hospitable, loves what is good, self-controlled, upright, holy, disciplined, of a firm faith, encouragement to others, knowledge of sound doctrine and able to defend the faith.

Now if we just add funny, sporty and cocky, you pretty much have my dream man. Let me know if you know anyone who fits the bill.