Elastic Basket for my Peaches

I also have a website: www.lizhightower.com

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Pizza Olympics

Tonight was Young Life and as usual, it lifted my spirits. Those kids are so funny. We did this activity called the pizza olympics. At the beginning of club, three kids call three different pizza places. The first pizza man to get there, gets a cheesy gold plastic medal. It is really funnny but ours did work out too well. Only one pizz guy showed up. He seemed a bit mentally challenged and was definitely confused. When he arrived, we played the Olympic theme song very loud and screamed and yelled for him. That part went well, but the other two pizza guys didn't show up. We kept singing song after song, trying to stall before the big Jesus talk. Finally we had to just go for it. The kids all had fun even if it wasn't very smooth.

During the Jesus talk, my fellow Young Life leader friend, Bethany and I were trying to figure out what was going on with two of the girls. They were sitting awfully close. We thought they might be lesbians. Slowly our suspicions were confirmed as they continued to behave in a way that I never would with a female friend. They were pretty much sitting on each other and there was clearly nuzzling going on. If that was not enough, one started to lovingly smell the other's hair. Oh well, I am glad that the are coming to Young Life. We seem to have a decent number of lesbians. Maybe it is because we have a lot of sporty kids.

I really miss my old boss, Tom. I guess it is not too surprising to find a good boss when you work in a Christian environment. He was just incredible. He was humble yet commanding. He always pointed out people's strengths but wasn't afraid to confront when necessary. I am learning that a good boss can really make or break a job experience. I have moments every day when I just ache to go back to Maui and work with YWAM. It was just amazing. But alas, I know this is where I am supposed to be right now. I am really hoping that I am supposed to be in Maui over Spring Break. I am praying and saving so it can work out.

Afterwards, a bunch of the guys and girls started fake fighting in the parking lot. I guess it must have been a bit too convincing. The cops showed up just as we were starting to leave and told us to get on our way. Little did he know that Young Life is actually a really good influence on these kids. I got out of there before I could explain. He didn't seem in the mood to talk.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Tales of a Third Grade Teacher

I am absolutely exhausted right now, which is sad since it is about 8pm. I stayed up later than I should have last night on this scientific research website. It sounds boring but it isn't. The site tests your reaction time to a series of pictures and uses that to compute how you feel about issues. I had heard about one about race but I ended up taking some about religion, homosexuality and girls and boy stereotypes for science and math. In each case I was moderately biased in one direction. I didn't fully agree with the girls sucking at science assessment since I really don't think they suck. Anyway, if you want to check it out, go to-https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/research/

Today was a much better day at school. I have been praying a lot more for school stuff and I think it is working. Teaching seems to be full of highs and lows. Some of my kids have very difficult home lives and it hurts my heart. One boy today said he couldn't do his Science project because his electricity got turned off. Several of my kids have brothers, mothers or fathers in jail. I pray that they will rise out of their working class poverty and bad parenting and become successful. I try very hard to make them feel special.

I think I have mentioned before that there is one kid that I know has a crush on me. It's pretty cute to have a third-grader crushing on you- especially a short, chubby one with glasses. Today this particular kid gave me a hug and said, "Miss Hightower, you're my best friend." This was flattering but turned slightly awkward when he wouldn't let go. Luckily in third grade, they are all short enough to hug below the extremely awkward boob area. I finally pried the kid off of me. Now, if only I was that irresistable to men my own age....

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Laughing at the nudes

Look, I am a blogging machine! Life felt easy in Maui and it feels hard here. I am still having problems with my principal that I will not foolishly elaborate on this public and anonymous forum. As can be expected, conflict at work makes life way more stressful.

Thankfully Christmas is coming soon. I am definitely looking forward to it. It is bound to be amazing! My brother will be home from Iraq and I am getting Nintendo Wii. Now if only Santa could bring a funny, sporty Christian man and a cure for cancer....

On Thursday I took my class on a field trip to the Museum of Fine Arts. The field trip only lasted an hour, which was far too short to see much of the museum. It definitely piqued my interest and I would like to go back soon. The kids were broken up into smaller groups and distributed among the docents- fancy word for volunteer guides. I strategically formed a group with some of the kids whom I was afraid would make trouble. Our guide, Blaine (who was curiously an older white man and not a gay black man as my In Living Color experience would dictate), showed us a good time and the kids behaved well. The funniest part to me was the way the kids responded to the nudes. I had joked to another teacher before we left that I was going to wrangle the kids and keep them away from the nudes. Well, the nudes were unavoidable and the kids acted exactly as I had anticipated. They turned red. They giggled and they pointed. It was pretty funny. I told them to act mature but that's pretty difficult to do when you are eight and looking at naked people.

One kid asked me why anyone would want to paint or sculpt naked people. I didn't quite know how to respond. I told him that some people think naked people are beautiful. The kid just looked at me like I was crazy.

This whole incident reminded me of visiting an art gallery in New York. My friend, Lucy's dad was part of an art exhibit along with a few other artists. We went to see his show. We walked around pretending to be part of the snooty art community. One of the other patrons looked very familiar but I couldn't figure out why. Soon, I realized that the woman was the model for a life-like nude painting hanging in that very gallery. I am sure I turned red and I think I giggled. How can I expect my third graders to keep their composure when I couldn't? How could that woman walk around a room full of strangers who knew exactly what she looked like naked? Eek! What a weirdo!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Maui Synopsis

Here is the lowdown on my recent trip:

On the day I landed, I got picked up by Joshley- Josh and Ashley. The weather was strangely stormy. I went to the base to have my third turkey dinner. I had already had two at school. This year, noone got sick, unlike last year. When I got to the base, I felt like a celebrity. All my old friends enthusiastically greeted me and many of the new people seemed to know who I was as well. (This could be due to the fact that I put pictures of myself up on the refridgerator before I left.)

I slept at my friend, Kristy's house. Three former staff girls live in what used to be one of our staff houses. It looks a lot nicer now that people with real jobs live there.

In the morning, we went to play soccer. I wasn't that into it at first since it is not my best sport. I like to be good at things. It turned out to be super fun. I did not suck and definitely made some good plays. I got to be team captain. I only knew about a fourth of the people so I had to make my decisions based on external clues. I picked all people wearing cleats or soccer jerseys. I also picked anyone I knew was European. This turned out to be a great strategy and my team won hands down. The other team was a lot more competitive despite their lack of jerseys and cleats, so it was funny that we won. The game ended up lasting for over two hours because the other team didn't want to quit until they caught up. Only our team seemed to know that was not going to happen. We won 8-5.

Later I had my fourth turkey dinner at the Bartuneks' house and then we had an after-party there as well. I was getting slightly socially overwhelmed. After that, a bunch of us went to Kaanapali (the tourist side of the island.) Leah, a YWAMer, had been blessed with a $3000 a week villa at the Marriot for free. It was so much fun! The place was super-fancy- hopefully for that price, right? It had three LCD TVs, enough bed/couch space for eight people, balconies, a full kitchen and a big whirlpool tub that three of the boys got in together. You get pretty comfortable at YWAM.

I was only going to spend one night there but I ended up staying two because it was just so fun. We spent the day lounging at the pool, going in the hot tub and going down the waterslide. We had dinner in Lahaina at Cheeseburgers in Paradise. I was afraid we'd have to pay a ton for food because we were on the tourist side. I forgot that I was staying with frugal missionaries. People brought pancake mix for breakfast and mac and cheese for lunch. So smart!

I barely went to the beach at all. I was too busy hanging out in the hotel pool and catching up with old friends. I had an incredible time! It was painfully normal to be in that setting with those people. It would have been a lot easier to come home if I had felt weird or out of place. But, no such luck. I was sad to leave.

I am going to start saving up to go for Spring Break. Being with those people rejuvinates my heart and lifts my spirits so much. I feel so lucky to have those people in my life. And it doesn't hurt that they live in paradise.

The plane rides back involved a lot of sleeping so I wasn't even jet-lagged when I got home. The odd thing that happened was that on my first plane, I didn't have a seatbelt. Somehow one half of the seatbelt was missing. It really made no sense. I had to move to another seat. Who steals half of a seatbelt? When was it stolen and had the last person just defied all the warnings and lighted signs to go without one? I guess I will never know.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Back from Paradise and onto the skating rink

I just got back from a Young Life skating party. I had about 3 hours between arriving home from my trip to Maui and attending the skating party. With an overnight flight in the mix, it has been a long day. For that reason, this update will be short. I will tell more of my trip in my next post.

For now I just want to talk about my feelings. I didn't know exactly what to expect when I visited Maui. Unfortunately, or fortunately (depending how you look at it), it felt amazing to be there. It was not just amazing because of the things you can read about in a Maui guidebook or see in a movie. Maui is a beautiful, wonderful place. But the real reason I had such a great time was because of the incredible friendships I have with people there at YWAM Maui. It was definitely great to hang out with them in paradise but I think it would have been just as good if we'd been hanging out in a garbage dump. Although I guess I wouldn't have gotten a tan.

I just miss those people so much. There is nothing like the true Christian fellowship you get at YWAM Maui. In what I like to call the "real world," people often approach other hurting people by saying that they should suck it up because they hurt too. That's not how it has to be. I felt so at home and at peace in Maui. It was very difficult to leave. I am already counting my frequent flyer miles to see when I can return.

Now- must sleep so I don't kill third graders!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Teaching white kids to dance

It's pointless to start this by saying I will try to write more frequently because lately it simply isn't happening. Wow that was a lot of adverbs. Eek- I really am a teacher.

I might as well talk about my weekend. I don't remember doing anything on Friday night. I think I did some pre-pre Christmas shopping. I love Maui but the mainland is the place for Christmas. It's simply everywhere even before Thanksgiving.

On Saturday morning I had to go to the post office. It was an odd experience. I went to one near my house and the mixture of people there was odd. There was a ten-year old kid playing a guitar as he waited in line with his dad. He was actually a lot better than I could ever hope to be.

There was a woman with a small child and infant who was interacting with them oddly. She was very childlike and missing a few teeth.

Most people were getting money orders or wiring money to Mexico. I had to wait with these people for 30 minutes so I had plenty of time to create inner social commentary.

Then I helped my dad move my sister-in-law's belongings into a UHAUL. She is moving to Colorado Springs to await my brother's arrival. (That's where he is stationed.) It took some creative manuevering but not much time.

I was supposed to go to my friend, Bethany's birthday party. Her Elvis-impersonating cousin-in-law was scheduled to perform. Apparently he just performs by default without much provocation. I got too scared about the freeway closures and long distance and didn't end up going. I was sad to miss Elvis. Jason and Jocelyn Fowler were in town so I went to dinner with them and Joce's parents, who are essentially my second parents. It was great times as we reminisced about my youthful highjinks. This included the time I sent a bunch of those collector's figure and plate order forms that you find in magazines to various neighbors. I don't know why I did it but the victims were certainly surprised to receive unrequested china plates featuring delicate birds.

On Sunday I went to church and ran into my friends, Jane and James Chastant and Elizabeth Austin. They didn't know each other. We all went to Katz's to eat and it was lovely.

Afterwards, I went to our Young Life banquet. That's where we serve people dinner, tell them about Young Life and ask for money. It was a good chance to hang out with the kids. I also like to watch my urban kids interact with the super preppy white kids at Memorial High School. They always want my kids to teach them to dance. Weird.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Black God

This weekend I got to have Sarah fun day. I wanted to have a really fun day with Sarah for her birthday. We went to Galveston. I was a little bit sick still but I tried my best not to blow my nose on her sleeve, so hopefully her few red blood cells will do their thing.

We went to Galveston, which is Texas's version of Maui. Ok, it's totally different but there is a beach. First we sat on the beach and read magazines. In true Houston fashion, after a couple weeks of cold Fall-type weather, the day was sunny and warm. It was good for a beach day. Then we ate some amazing hamburgers. Unfortunately Sarah has discovered that her taste buds have become dull. Food no longer has as much flavor as it used to. This is a shame since as I just said, the hamburger was a-mazing! Apparently the taste buds thing can be a side effect of chemo. Thankfully the chemo is working to shrink the cancer so I guess taste is an ok sacrifice.

Then we did a little shopping. During our shopping, we found out that the UT game was on tv an hour earlier than we thought. We decided to return to Sarah's house to catch the rest of the game with her husband, John. UT played pretty well and a fun time was had by all. Then we had dinner and more shopping. It was a great day!

And now a funny story from this week:
At Young Life on Wednesday night, Andres, a fellow leader, was giving a talk about sin. He used a visual where he poured a small amount of black food coloring into a mason jar of water. The water quickly turns black. He was trying to make the point that God can't be near sin. But instead he announces with great flourish that, "God cannot be black!" This causes a small uproar in our predominatly black group. Andres's face turned so red as he stammered to correct himself. It was pretty hilarious.


black God

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Cheese decisions

I think I am getting sick yet again. These kids and their germs!!! It seems to be some sort of sinus thing. I am going to use tylenol, ecchinecea and orange juice to hold the illness at bay. I need to be completely well by Saturday because Sarah and I are going to have a day 'o' fun in Galveston. I can't hang out with Sarah if I am sick because of her low white blood cell count. She did get a check-up and they said the cancer is responding to the chemo and shrinking. Yay! Definitely an answer to prayer!

This weekend I hung out with my Chinese friend for the first time. Her name is Bing and she is from Beijing. I can definitely see the need for International students to have American friends. It took her a really long time to figure out what kind of hamburger to order. She couldn't figure out what she would like and I had to try to explain the six different cheese options to her. It's a lot harder to explain cheeses than one might think. You should give it a try?

Her English was very good but she did need a clarification on some words during the movie we watched. She wanted to know what the word, "bookie" meant. I made sure to explain that the average American has no business with a bookie. She also asked me if my high school experience was like the movie- Mean Girls. It was hard not to laugh at her question. I explained that high school is not actually like that and I really enjoyed my experience there.

Actually I drove by my old high school this weekend. It made me feel a little weird. A lot has changed but it felt the same too. It made me miss the time in my life when so many of my friends lived so close and my personal life wasn't complicated by cancer and war. I know that this stormy time in my life will end but sometimes I want to hit the fast-forward or rewind buttons. Wouldn't that be great?

Friday, November 02, 2007

the thorn in my flesh

In the Bible, Paul talks about the "thorn in his flesh." Theologians have speculated about what this means but as far as I know, there isn't a consensus on what this was for Paul. Well, I too have a thorn in my flesh. It doesn't sound too serious but it is driving me crazy. Literally. There is a weird humming, buzzing, vibrating noise in my car that occurs constantly at speeds above 35. I can't figure out what it is. I try to turn my radio up really loud to drown it out but I can still hear it. I know it is coming from somewhere near the passenger seat. Because it only occurs when I am driving, it would be too dangerous for me to launch a full investigation into its cause. The only passengers I have had lately have been my Young Life kids and they weren't too interested in finding the cause of the noise. They certainly noticed it but I don't think it would drive the average person as crazy as it has been driving me. Hitting the dashboard and glove box doesn't seem to be working. I really want this noise to stop and soon!

Life is a bit tough right now. School is pretty stressful. I can't go into detail because I have heard too many stories about people getting fired for things they write candidly on their blog. I will say that my principal and I have a difference of opinion on things but she's my boss so I need to do what she wants, regardless of what I think. This is not easy as I was given a hefty dose of the Hightower pride at birth. Luckily my HISD-appointed mentor has been an enormous help. She helped rearrange my classroom for about three hours yesterday. I am thankful to have someone looking out for my best interests.

On a lighter note, tonight I am hanging out with my new Chinese friend, Bing. She is an international student attending the University of Houston and we were assigned to each other through a student friendship program I found out about at my church. It is not supposed to be an evangelistic thing. The point is to befriend an international student and expose them to American life. Many students come from other countries and spend 4 years here without ever going into an American's home. THat is such a shame. We are definitely more wary and less hospitable than most other nations I have been to. In Bangladesh, people you meet on the street beg you come into their homes. We could use a little more of that in America, for sure.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Weekend of Sickness

I keep trying to write in this thing but it doesn't happen often enough. This weekend I am sick. I started feeling sick on Friday but I went to school. I had no patience with my students. Poor things. I am feeling better right now but still weak and achy. I was supposed to hang out with Sarah today but we couldn't risk it with her low white blood cell count. Hopefully I will be better by Monday for my students' sake and so that I can hang out with Sarah.

So, as long as I can remember I have been prejudiced FOR black people instead of being prejudiced AGAINST black people. I distinctly remember writing a story in 5th grade for the TAKS test in which I named the main character, Rodney, so that they would think I was black. I also used to love to watch American Gladiators and I also rooted for the black contestants. I suspect that my deep love of black people is rooted in my wonderful experiences as a child with our black babysitter/maid, Betty. Anyway, because of my love of black people, I have a soft spot for the black kids in my class. There is one kid, "Vince", who I just really like. Obviously he's black.

I am also a big fan of playing and watching sports. "Vince" is an incredible little athlete. Several kids in my class are clearly better than the others at sports but "Vince" puts them all to shame. He is just incredible. If he does not end up on the wrong path, I could totally see him as a professional athlete one day. He is also very funny. He can do backflips so I asked him if he took gymnastics. He said that he didn't. I started calling him "Gymnastics Boy." One time he was acting up in class and I called him on it. To which he replied, "Me, Gymnastics boy?" It was super cute.

There are a lot of clues that "Vince" has a rough home life. I don't know that he's being abused but he doesn't seem to be well taken care of. Lately he has been making some strange comments about me adopting him. He sometimes refers to me as his mama and says we are about to sign the adoption papers. This is definitely strange no matter what. But it is a lot more strange given my history. I have thought for a long time that I might end up adopting a child someday. I don't exactly know under what circumstances but I know that there are many kids out there that need someone to care about them. I was also once given a prophecy that I would have two kids of my own and then have another kid that I don't give birth to. I am not sure that is what will happen. The weirdest part about this is that upon meeting "Vince", I thought that he was the type of kid I would like to adopt. He is likable and good at sports. What more could I ask for? I obviously never told him this but it makes his adoption comments even stranger. I really don't think I am supposed to adopt "Vince" right now. I am not prepared to take care of a dog right now, let alone a kid. It still is something to think about.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Working Weekend

I am still a bit of a blogging slacker. I say that I will try to update more but we'll see if that actually happens.

Sarah update- Her white blood cell count is getting low. She definitely seems to have less energy. It's hard to see her not acting like her usual self and unable to do as much as usual. I am sure it is frustrating for her. She is still able to disguise her hair loss with thick head bands but that obviously won't last long. It will be hard when she is first bald. I am sure we'll all get used to it. I wish we didn't have to.

I had a full weekend. On Friday night I went to a high school volleyball game followed by a high school football game. And no, I am not a weirdo. I went to see my Young Life kids. The volleyball team they played was all black. That is why I was confused when an adorable old couple came into the gym wearing the other's teams' shirts. It seemed odd that a little old white couple would be die-hard fans of an all-black high school volleyball team. Soon, we discovered why. The old man came up behind the coach and whispered in her ear. She turned around and very obviously mouthed the word, "Grandpa!" Apparently they were the coach's grandparents. They were just so cute and even brought her dinner in a plastic sack.

It was homecoming so there were mums aplenty. For those of you not familiar with mums, they are fake chrysanthemums that are decorated with ribbons and teddy bears, and other random things. I saw one that had a huge teddy bear on it. I think there should be a law against having something on your mum big enough to hug. Three out of the five girls on the Homecoming court had been to Young Life. I thought we had pretty good odds of having one of our girls as queen. But alas, some girl I didn't know won. Our girls looked really pretty and it was fun to see them with their dads. One girl's dad had a sweet mustache. I have come to appreciate a good 'stache.

Then on Saturday, I had stupid teacher training all day. It should be a crime to make people stay inside and learn about stupid teacher crap when the weather is nice. I realized that I have only been around for changing seasons once in the last four years. The other times I was in Maui or Bangladesh. I forgot how nice it feels. It makes me want to play outside and ride around with my windows down. I think I will even enjoy cold weather for a few days but I will soon be feeling too cold.

On Sunday, I finally went to church. I hadn't been in a few weeks. I am glad I went. I had been lazy. I am at that point where I know a few people by name but I don't know anyone well. I also don't like the worship that much. But I love the diversity and I really like the pastor. He is so intelligent. I think I will keep going. I am sure if I can just stick it out, I will feel more at home.

Then I went to the Art Festival with Sarah, Katie and my parents. It was cool to see all the art. Unfortunately most of my favorite stuff was over $1000- not really in my price range. My mom was really cool and bought me a small painting/picture with a bamboo-looking frame. It remind me of Maui and makes me happy. I can't wait to go visit in November!

Monday, October 08, 2007

Too much training

Complaining alert. Be prepared!

I found out this morning that I have an all-day new teacher HISD training to go to on Saturday. I hate trainings on Saturdays! I wanted to go to the Houston art festival that day but now I guess I will go on Sunday. At least HISD trainings are usually so big and boring that you can read a book or grade papers in the back without getting in trouble.

After finding out about Saturday's training. I was told that I must also attend another training all day on Wednesday. And then at 2:30 I was told that I have to go to some training tomorrow as well. That is far too much training!!! Three days in one week! I stayed late at school today getting everything ready for a sub. I just hope these weekday trainings are not full of cheesy stuff where we have to act like kids. I am so over that. I let you know how they all turn out.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Emotionally Athletic

This weekend Sarah and I, along with many of her loved ones, participated in the Race for the Cure. They walked a 5K, while I ran it. I was impressed that I actually ran the whole way.

All these race things have lots of free stuff, though you have to get there early to maximize it. Sarah's sister-in-law, Thama snagged a mini gelly boob with a lump. I totally missed out on that one. If you are a breast cancer survivor, you get even more free stuff. Sarah counted as a survivor even though it would be a lot more accurate to say that she is surviving.

This event was much larger than the bike ride some of us participated in about a month ago. There were tons of people there. Many were wearing the pink t-shirts that signified that they were breast cancer survivors. It was cool to see so many women who had survived but it was a bit weird since they were almost all at least 20 years older than Sarah. She is now a part of a club made up mostly of much older women. It doesn't help that Sarah doesn't even look 26. I think she could easily still pass as a high school student.

At the finish line, they have the survivors separate from the rest of us and go down a special path. They hand them free stuff and cheer for them. It was hard to watch Sarah separate herself from us and walk alone down the survivor path. It seemed very symbolic of how we all want to help her and be there for her but there are certain parts she has to walk alone. Ugh.

When I was running, I ran by myself. Actually I ran with thousands of people but I didn't know any of them. When I was running, there were several times when I almost broke down and bawled. I think these cancer benefit things will be a lot easier when Sarah is healed. They seem really hard if you have lost a loved one or have one who is still not out of the woods.I am not so sure I can do another one anytime soon.

These events have signs where you can write who you are racing for. They are a great way to honor or remember someone but seeing them is a big part of what makes the experience so emotional. I wore one in honor of Sarah and one in memory of Mrs. Pilgreen. She was the mom of my friends, Lee and Erin. I didn't have the chance to get to know her well. But I know she was a really fun woman. I also know how hard her death has been on her husband and four kids. You can't help but wonder why some people die of this and some people are fine. I wish I could just do a certain number of breast cancer benefiting athletic events and Sarah would be guaranteed to be okay. Unfortunately that is not how life works.

One woman had about eight people on her signs. She had listed a sister, three aunts, three cousins and an uncle as survivors and victims. She herself was a survivor, as well. It seemed clear that her family carries the breast cancer gene. How terrible that this disease has killed and sickened so many of her relatives! Sarah recently got tested for the breast cancer gene, herself. The doctors don't think she has it since no one else in her family has had it. They want to test her because it is so unusual for her to get it this young. They are sending her blood to Utah and she should get the results in a couple of weeks. We have been joking about how the Mormons are testing her blood. I think it's because they are so into genetics. Please pray that she does not have the gene because it will mean the chances of the cancer returning are very high. It also means her kids, esp daughters would have an extremely high chance of getting breast cancer.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

I am a bad blogger

So, I have been terrible at updating this sucker lately. Life is pretty full lately. I haven't even had enough time for my stress relieving work-outs. I am running in a breast cancer 5K this Saturday and I hope I don't collapse with a charlie horse like that woman Yvonne on Golden Girls. That reference was for my friends, Erin and Jocelyn.

Breast cancer seems to be everywhere these days. It's so weird that Sarah gets this disease right before breast cancer month. We try to pretend everything is normal sometimes but it's hard when they are shoving those pink products down our throats. They even have breast cancer m&ms. I am not anti-pink products but it definitely makes it hard to pretend Sarah doesn't have cancer.

Speaking of pretending, I sometimes pretend that my little brother, Andrew is not in Iraq. Sometimes it is easier to pretend that he is off at some training in the mountains of Washington than in the line of fire in Iraq. Today I stopped by my parents' house to pick up some mail. I went into the downstairs bedroom and I saw my brother. It wasn't actually him but a life-size cardboard cut-out of him that Shella had made for a friends' wedding. It scared the crap out of me and made me feel a little sad. Life will be easier in January when he is back safe and sound. He will also be in Colorado in the winter so I can go snowboarding. Bonus!

I have been meaning to write about last weekend. Sarah and I drove to Austin to relive our glory days by going to a UT game. The trip started off a bit bumpy like most areas of my life these days. We stopped at our usual stop- a great little gas station/college paraphenaila/scrapbooking store/knick nack shack/kolache bakery called Hruskas. We noticed that Sarah's parents were there. They were also on their way to Austin. In my excitement to surprise the Stojaniks, I locked my keys in the car while it was running. This was the first and hopefully last time. It makes sense that it would happen during this period of my life. Sarah and her rents didn't make me feel dumb and even chipped in to pay for the mechanic guy to inflate my window open with a blood pressure cuff thing and unlock the door.

We got tickets to the UT game from a scalper. I hadn't been to a game since I was a student five years ago. I was almost giddy with excitement. There was burnt orange as far as the eye could. Just beautiful unless you are an Aggie, of course.

Unfortunately the game didn't go so well. Colt McCoy through an incredible four interceptions and the Longhorns generally stunk it up. At half time, it started to sprinkle. Sarah and I decided to be hardcore and stick it out. We laughed at the wusses that had to go inside the stadium for cover. Soon we weren't laughing anymore. We were completely drenched. We feared for the safety of our electronics and sought cover with the other wet, slightly stinky fans. The rain let up and we went back out to watch the Longhorns continue to stink it up. It was still fun. It started to downpour again right after the game. Sarah and I sought refuge in a dorm until we happened upon some lovely UT ponchos. Then we trekked back to our car. Not my perfect game but still fun.

The worst part about the rain was that it made Sarah's hair fall out worse. She is at the stage where she can hide it with a large headband but she is trying to hold onto as long as she can. The rain did not help that mission. It was really hard to see Sarah going through this. We knew it was inevitable but that doesn't seem to make it easier. As lovely as Raquel, her wig is, I think we all hoped deep down that she would never have to use it. No such luck!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

House Hunting...again!

We found a potential house to move into. Since our landlord, Norm, is going down, we've decided to abandon ship or rather house. We found a possible place that is literally right around the corner. If everything works out, we'll move at the end of October. We are hoping to have a Foreclosure Fiesta where people can help us move. We will bribe them with Mexican treats such as: fajitas, margaritas, beer and queso. Who could resist? The house is so close that if we have enough people, we could do some sort of giant assembly line. That could be pretty sweet.

Tomorrow night at YoungLife, I am going to be in a skit where I play a weirdo Kindergarten teacher. I scoured the local thrift stores today until I found a couple of gems. In fact, both outfits are so great, that I had to buy two. Maybe it will have to be a reoccuring character. I thought about wearing one of these teacher ABC jumpers for my school picture but I think I will regret it later.

Life has gotten pretty busy lately with Office parties, YoungLife and college football. My school is really into after-school tutorials for the struggling kids. I am all for helping them but I don't like cutting into my Miss Hightower time. This is similar to Miss Lippy time except that I don't put paste on my face. We get paid to do it but it kinda sucks since it isn't something we do by choice. We are pretty much forced into it. I think I will be doing them twice a week. I am also trying to get an art club started one afternoon a week since our school doesn't have art. It's pretty lame. The kids have P.E., library, computer lab and then Science experiments and Science vocab. Instead of art or music, we have two extra Sciences. I just feel so bad for those kids who are only good at art. I feel the need to look out for them.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

waffles

Today I figured out why I have been eating waffles for breakfast every morning for the last two months. I thought it was because of the delightful taste of the Eggo Nutri-Grain low-fat waffles with low fat syrup and spray butter. I don't think so anymore.

This morning I woke up to my roommate, Katie, crying. I was afraid someone had died and indeed someone had. My roommate, Sarah's cat was found dead on our front lawn. With the non-existance of kitty CSI, we were left to assume that she tried to go under the fence and choked herself with her collar. As a child I had numerous pets pass away in the prime of their youth. But I know this is really sad for Sarah. She is new to Houston and Bea (the cat) had been the only constant in her life for a while. She is also one of those people who gets really attached to her cats. Poor thing.

This morning Katie (thank God she's a nurse) donned gloves and wrapped the cat in a garbage bag and then dropped it into another as I held the second bag open. Then we put the dead cat in a cooler with ice. I am not sure what will happen to her as my experience with dead pets always resulted in my dad burying them in a field or our backyard.

After this ordeal, I went inside and ate my usual waffles. Then it hit me that it really isn't about the waffles. I need some kind of normalcy and stability during this crazy time in my life. I think this is why some people become anorexic. They want to control some part of a life that feels out of control. Luckily I am not anorexic, I am just eating waffles. I hope they don't stop making those waffles anytime soon. I need them.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Blathering

Hi blog readers- you random people who read my public thoughts,
I have recently remembered that I told people I would give Sarah updates on my blog. I have been doing decent at that but I think I will try to write them at the beginning of each post so that people who just want to know about Sarah and don't want to read as I blather on, can do just that.

Sarah update-
Last Friday Sarah had another allergic reaction to her chemo. The week before she had a reaction and they gave her lots of Benydryl. This time it was worse. She started to feel hot and couldn't breathe. They stopped the chemo and sent her to see her doctor. Sarah was scared about all this (who wouldn't be?) but the doctor said that some people just have a bad reaction to some of the other drugs that come along with the chemo. They are going to try to give Sarah another chemo that has different other drugs with it. It is actually more expensive but your insurance will only pay if you are allergic to the cheaper kind. So, I guess she'll be getting fancier chemo but it also means she will go a week longer since last week's didn't happen.

Her hair is still in tact so there has been no need to bust out Raquel. Despite all the preparations and build-up, I think it will be really hard on us all, especially Sarah, of course, when her hair does start to fall out. Thanks for your prayers for Sarah. She definitely needs them. I also found out that my friend, Keri (used to be Narramore) McDonald's father-in-law was diagnosed with leukemia. Stupid cancer! It feels like some sort of scary movie where a monster attacks people when they least expect it.

I read a good verse in Psalms today and I am too lazy right now to go find where it is. It said that God, "daily bears our burdens." That is a powerful statement to me. I have had to bear burdens for my friends and walk through hard stuff with them during different seasons of my life. Right now with Sarah is a prime example. But I can't say that I have born someone's burdens daily. And as a human, sometimes I break down and I can't do it. But God can take everyone's burdens at once and he does it every day. That is so amazing!

The house stuff is not looking good. Our landlord is financially strapped. It looked like some guy was going to buy the house and offer us a deal to move early. Well, after the inspection, the guy backed out. This leaves us with the great possibility that the bank will foreclose on the house and we will have to move, presumably without our deposit. This means we'll have to find a new place and pay a new deposit. This just sucks. I can't even really think about what's going to happen since my life seems to be one new thing (mostly crappy) after the next. We are looking for a new place to live. Please pray. I am trying to stop hating change and uncertainty but it would be easier to do if it would just stop happening so often. Oh well, God says he has my back or my burdens, right? Here's some more, big guy!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Lots o' school

Last night I went a high school volleyball game. As a Young Life leader, I am supposed to do "contact work." This means making contact with kids. I am always good at going to our weekly club meeting. I am not always as good at making time to see the kids outside of that. On Wednesday, we had a mini-Young Life meeting with some of our main kids. I was dreading the extra time commitment but when I got there, I totally remembered why I do this. The kids are so much fun. I had most of the girls in my cabin at camp. They were really excited to see me, which felt really good. One thing I have learned about myself is that I don't feel right if I am not doing some sort of volunteer work. I need these kids as much as they need me.

Anyway, back to the volleyball game. Six of the girls on varsity and two on JV, as well as the manager are regular Young Life kids. It was cool to see them play even though we lost. I had also forgotten that my girls aren't the only ones on the team. I also forget that there are white kids at their school since our Young Life group is almost exclusively black and Hispanic. Watching them play made me miss high school and high school sports. I even missed the smell of the gym. I think that makes me a little weird. Who was I kidding? Of course I was supposed to be a teacher- I even like the way schools smell. What a dork!

Life is better lately. I am not letting the big unchangeable stuff get me down so much. Even though that stuff hasn't changed and in some cases, has gotten worse, I can't let that affect my mood. I have been praying about it more too, which I know helps.

We found out that the buyer of our house has withdrawn his offer. This probably means our landlord is going down in the near future. We have started looking for a place to move and it is likely it will happen within the next month. I love change!

Friday, September 07, 2007

The Daily Grind

So, life is starting to fall into a routine- I guess. I finished my second week as a third grade teacher. I need to get more organized. There is so much paperwork and logistical stuff. I don't think I fully realized the magnitude of this part of teaching. I am not really letting it stress me out but I would have less work to do if I was more organized. Slowly I am getting organized. I think I could knock it all out if I would just stay at school late one day but I can't bear staying after 4:30pm. Hopefully I can get more organized this weekend but I will probably just hang out with my friends.

Today was go Texans day at my school. For those of you who don't know, the Texans are the local NFL team who are really stupid because they passed up their chance to get Vince Young, my favorite player ever. Because of their extreme stupidity, I am a Tennessee Titans fan and not a Texans fan. Needless to say, I did not dress in Texans' gear even though it meant I could have worn a t-shirt.

My car problems seem to be working themselves out after a series of daily phone calls to a woman named Javanna at Geico. It looks like I will be paying about $250 instead of $450. Yay.

The Office Season 3 came out on DVD and brightened my week quite a bit. I can't wait for Season 4 to begin! I am looking forward to having weekly Office parties. All Houston Office fans are invited.

I think life will make an upswing and I hope this happens soon. This weekend I was supposed to go to a concert with Sarah Sto-Gregor, but she doesn't feel up to it. I hate seeing her suffer and I hate that she can't do all the things she wants to do anymore. Please continue to pray for her.

Also I am doing a 67 mile bike ride on Sunday morning called the TOur de Pink. It raises money for breast cancer research and a bunch of us are riding in it in honor of Sarah. I haven't been on a bike in a month so I really don't know how it will go. I rode in the MS 150, which is 160 miles in two days under worse conditions. I didn't go to sleep until 4am, I had ridden a maximum of forty miles before that and I was riding a hybrid bike instead of a road bike. If I could finish that, I think I can do this. I have also been working out a lot but not on a bike. Pray that I survive all that time on the seat.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Curve balls 1004 and 1005

So, I have been feeling a lot like Job in the Bible lately. At the beginning of Job, The Devil tells God that Job has been faithful because his life is so easy. The Devil gets permission to start "testing" Job but he is forbidden to physically harm him. I feel like this. I am physically ok but everything around me seems to be chaotic and stressful. I don't like change and yet God keeps throwing curve balls at me, both big and small. The best friend getting breast cancer has obviously been the biggest and hardest one but other smaller ones keep coming. I thought the crazy DtS I led last summer would have been enough testing for me. Apparently it was only the beginning. So here's the latest:

The day Sarah found out that she really had cancer, she and I got in a car accident in the Target parking lot. Another woman and I simultaneously backed into each other. The damage on my car was minor and cosmetic. I wasn't going to get it fixed until Geico said they would pay for half. I went to a Geico place to get an estimate. There was a tiny scratch on the large part of the bumper. It would be about $300 more to fix it. I could barely see the scratch so I told them not to fix it. The estimate was for about $240. Then they told me to go to a certain car place. This guy from the car place came out with me to look at the car. I made sure to show him that I didn't want the big piece fixed. He said he understood. Yadda Yadda Yadda. I pick up my car and they say I don't owe anything even though I am expecting to pay half. Later they call me and say I do owe half, which comes out to over $450!!! I obviously freak out. I would never have gotten it fixed if I knew I had to pay that much. Apparently a second estimate was made that I was not aware of and they factored in the piece I told them I didn't want to fix. Now it is a huge mess. I really don't want to pay that money for something I didn't want fixed. I am trying to fight it but it is very annoying and complicated and stressful.

So, today we found out that we will probably have to move in the next few months. Our landlord is facing bankruptcy and is going to quickly sell our house. The new owner is making a fair offer of returning our deposit, giving us one month's rent as well as $1500 in moving expenses. The problem is that we don't want to move. We are happy where we are at and now we have to find a new place. Ugh!!! What next??? I don't know how much more of this I can take. I am actually not stressing about this house thing as much as I should. Maybe I am becoming more resiliant to change. Probably not. Maybe I am just numb.

On a brighter note, I am now the proud owner of two turtles. They will live in my classroom and I will keep you posted on their names.
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